(Note: this is in the US where paid surrogacy is legal.)
I posted about this on r/povertyfinance, and it generated a good discussion (which you can read here), so I thought it would be worth sharing here as well.
One year ago, I made the decision to be a surrogate for a lovely couple in New York to help pay off my student loans from grad school and start saving up for a home. I'm a single mother in my 30s with a child of my own living in North Carolina. I really wanted a way to get some extra income and help someone else in the process. I'm posting this because I searched Reddit for posts from other women who did something like this and I can't really find any, so hopefully this helps a few other women make the decision whether to make a choice like mine. Overall, I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.
It wasn't an easy decision, but it helped that the process wasn't as hard as I thought. (Just long!)
I spent a lot of time researching the various agencies and the one I chose paid the most I could find for a first-time surrogate. The couple I was matched up with is really nice. I got to meet them in New York City a couple times when I flew up there during the medical clearance process and embryo implantation. (My expenses were paid for too, so I got to visit New York for free!) They're both sweet and loving... I'm glad I could help. The poor wife has had a really hard time conceiving, with several heartbreaking experiences, over the last several years....
I'm currently 30 weeks along and I've had a easy pregnancy so far. I'm so excited for them to meet their new baby in August. (And because the embryo was developed from the husband's sperm and the wife's egg, the baby will be genetically theirs 100%.) I can tell they're really excited! The wife texts me all the time to see how I'm doing, and she likes to send me food. (She's really generous!)
On that note, let me tell you some of the requirements I had to meet to qualify. They weren't that hard.
- You should be between 21-39 years old.
- With my agency, you need a BMI between 18-32
- You can't be on government financial support (Like food stamps or other programs)
- You need to have given birth to and be raising at least one child
After paying my student loans off in full this month, I am putting the rest of the money towards a down payment on a house. That money buys a lot of house in my area. :)
It hasn't all been an easy process. These are the main drawbacks/cons I've run into so far:
Cons:
- Getting approved and implanted took a long time - 8 months in my case. There were payments for getting matched with parents and getting cleared medically, but the monthly surrogacy payments didn't start until after the fetal heartbeat was confirmed a second time. There was a lot of waiting. (Worth it!)
- I had to inject myself once a day for about six weeks. I'm not a fan of needles so the first few were tough. After a week I got used to it, and after a couple of weeks it become completely routine. It's really not that bad.
- Lots of tests and appointments before I was approved. Thankfully, I work from home (I'm a translator), so I had the flexibility to get the testing done on their schedule.
- For three weeks I had to go to a nearby fertility clinic to get a blood draw 2x a week. Once I actually got pregnant, it went down to just the standard pregnancy OB appointments.
Here are the top positive aspects for me:
Pros:
- The couple are really nice and loving, and I love how I'm able to help them with something they are so excited about.
- I got to fly to NYC a couple times during the process.
- Easy pregnancy (in my case - I know I'm super lucky here!) that's over in about 9 months.
- I'm getting paid $50,000+ in total which covered my student loans, helps me take care of my little girl, and goes a long way towards a house here.
Really, it was one of the best decisions I think I've ever made. Those student loans were a huge burden. I was worried I’d never be able to be a home owner and take care of my daughter. I can’t even describe the difference it made in our lives... and more importantly, the difference it's going to make in the lives of the couple I matched with. I managed to get it all taken care of while helping a great family finally have the child they've wanted for years.
Submitted May 25, 2019 at 07:56AM by rigabamboo http://bit.ly/2K2xv3h
