I'd like to start by saying that I understand the situation I am in is my own making and I am not on here looking for pity or name calling/rudeness about it. I just need help.
I have problems with spending money. It has been that way my whole adult life and I'm working to get better. I am in therapy for it (relatively new topic, was working on more pressing issues in therapy the last year), but the gist of it is that I have always been very impulsive with my spending and I overextend myself. This has gotten worse as the years have gone on because my income keeps going up which has enabled me to dig myself deeper.
My background is that I am married, I am the sole provider for my family, I have two small children and I'm 30 years old. Income before taxes: ~$130K year (salary + bonus). Both our credit scores are currently around mid 700's.
Extra income: ~$270/month in disability and then a varying amount per a month during the fall and spring college semesters (from the GI bill, can't swing summer semesters so there are periods of time where I get none), usually between an extra $2,300-$3,500/month tax free. I have about 2.5 years left of school/GI bill.
Debt/Expenses:
Mortgage - $3,300/month ($484,000 balance at 4%)
HELOC - $340/month ($34,100 balance at 8.5%)
Car payments - $470 and $902/month ($30,100 balance at 5.64% and $44,500 at 7.99%)
Car insurance - $150/month
Credit card - ~$120/month minimum payment ($7,000 balance at 12.9%)
Cell phone - $120/month
Utilities - ~ $450/month (includes $180/month solar loan payment)
Medical expenses - ~$250/month
Gas/car maintenance - $400/month
TV/Netflix - $65/month
Home supplies - ~$200/month
Problem areas (not included in monthly breakdown) are groceries & eating out/entertainment (probably a little over $1,000/month), and impulse purchases by myself (my wife contributes a little, but it's mostly me). I am attempting the Dave Ramsey approach (bought the book, already familiar with the steps, but reading through it anyways). But I just feel so lost. I know the vehicle expenses are very high, the mortgage is also not cheap (California and also was a VA loan so I only put 5% down and only a couple years into it). One of the problems I'm having is that my spending has been out of control ramping up for a couple years now and has caused a lot of resentment with my wife. I'm trying to turn a corner and stop my impulse spending because I know what I'm doing is wrong, unsustainable, and robbing us of our future, but the problem I'm facing now is trying to reign in other parts of our spending that my family has grown accustom to like grocery/eating out/entertainment spending and personal spending for my wife (hair, nails, clothes) and she understandably is bringing up my behavior over the last couple years.
So my question is part marital advice part financial advice I guess. How do I turn this corner and try to get my life back on track financially? I know there are obvious nuclear options like eliminate a car, move into a smaller house, cease all entertainment expenses for my family. But what makes the most sense and is least disruptive to my family? Please let me know if there is anymore information I can provide, I'm sure I'm missing plenty.
Submitted July 13, 2019 at 11:06PM by yoder1234 https://ift.tt/2GcaPem
