Some Fuckups that I did, that I hope others don't do.

Throwaway account. Also I'm writing this on mobile so apologies for any formatting error etc.

So I just learned my lesson the hard way. This post might get downvoted to oblivion, but I feel compelled to share so others don't make the same mistakes I did. If at least one person can take something from my experience, that's enough for me. It will be a long post, so buckle up. Otherwise, there's TL;DR at the bottom.

A little bit of background, I'm a female working as a chef in Australia. In 2015, my SO and I moved from (Big City A)to this small town with a population of 10k people for personal reason. We were only planning to work here for 2.5 years, then move back.

For 3 years I've worked my ass off. Punching in overtime, working extra days, and over the years I was constantly given more and more responsibilities. My pay however, remained the same. Here's where I fucked up; I was so naïve thinking that if I worked hard enough, I would eventually get rewarded for it. I kept waiting, but that long awaited raise never came.

Then I spoke to my Head Chef (HC) late 2017. He promised me that he would speak to upper management regarding my pay. 1 week passed. I asked and he said GM is still busy so he'll talk to him next week. 2 weeks. I asked, HC said he went to have a meeting with him about other issues. GM said they needed to cut budget, so HC said he couldn't bring up the convo about my pay raise because he thinks it's not a good timing. 3 weeks, then a month passed. I kept waiting and waiting, trusting that HC has my best interest at heart and that he would definitely bring this matter up.

January 2018 rolled around. HC's daughter was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He had to go to (Big City B). So basically, I now had waited for nothing.

In comes the Sous Chef (SC). He's a nice bloke. Since HC went away, I gradually became closer to him. We were so short staffed. Few of our apprentices and chefs left previous year. We basically had no one else except me, him, a 1st year apprentice, and couple kitchen hands. We were pulling strings left and right. I worked hard. Since now I was the second most senior staff in the kitchen (after sous), I made sure everything was fine, and was taking more responsibilities than ever before. I made sure HC didn't have to worry about a thing so he can focus on his daughter. In late February the 2 apprentices that left us before got hired back. Things were getting a bit easier. By June, me and SC had became pretty close. Or so I thought.

I somehow learned that talking about pay rise would make me look bad. I was scared that if I asked for a raise, they would give it to me for a while, find my replacement in time being, and sack me. However I then found out that those 2 ex-apprentices were getting substantially more than what I'm getting; around 28% more. I bit the bullet and talked to GM that I would like a pay rise. He told me to write him an email. I did, then we had a meeting about a week after.

He straight away told me how good an employee I have been, that they're happy to have me in their team, but unfortunately they had no more money to give me. I was so angry. Mind you this isn't a small company I'm working for. It's a giant club, with tons of pokies machine, and I know they make millions in revenue annually. And they couldn't afford to give me $0.60/hr raise?? What about those boys who just graduated months earlier? To rub salt in my wound, now one of the boys was getting promoted as the SC. And my current SC will become the HC. I was so pissed at this point because I know I'm more than capable of doing the job, if not better than that boy.

I then talked to SC. I explained to him what happened with my meeting with GM. Basically SC just said that I don't deserve the raise because all those responsibilities; I was taking them upon myself. He didn't give it to me. I remember he asked me if I wanted to change my days off, I said no because they are the same days my SO has off as well. Now he was bringing back this conversation against me, saying that those boys were more flexible and reliable than I was. The few times he asked me to work on my days off, I already had plans for my anniversary, and some other plans at different time. Now SC was complaining how I wasn't there when he needed me to work extra. I was speechless and absolutely seething with rage.

Here's where I fucked up again. Remember when I said I was only gonna stay in this town for 2.5 years? I was meant to leave in May 2018. But then HC liked me so much he convinced me to stay longer. At first he wanted me to stay for 3 more years. I said no, but agreed to stay until August.

I, firstly, should have never told him I was only gonna be around until May. Then to make things worse, I gave my GM my exact last day back in January. By the time I realised how stupid I was, I was already being taken advantage of.

SC's reasoning was I was leaving in August, so it's a fair call to give the promotion to the boy. And I'm damn sure that they didn't give me the raise cause they knew I was leaving. So what was I gonna do? Threaten that I was gonna leave to go somewhere else? I thought I was doing them a favour, because I believed this company treated me as a valuable employee. I thought I was trying to help them so they didn't struggle of not having enough staff when I leave. How wrong I was.

TL;DR

Well, here's the list of my fuckups, that I hope someone else can learn from.

1. Know your worth. If you think you're worth more than you're getting paid for, let them know. If they refuse and keep giving you excuses, be ready to jump ship. The only reason I hadn't left was because this is a small town (not many places to choose from), and I only have 2 months left here.

2. Never wait for a pay rise. There will never be the right time for this kind of discussion. Just ask. Worst that can happen is they say no, then you'll know whether or not your employer really values you.

3. Don't invest too much of your heart and soul in your workplace. At the end of the day, you're only a number to them. Nothing more.

4. If you know you're gonna leave, don't tell ANYONE about it. Just keep it to yourself, and only give the least amount of notice required. Otherwise you might miss on some promotions and pay rise like I did. The moment they know, you lose your leverage. My GM said if I were to stay longer, I would've gotten the promotion.

5. Always base your decisions on your own best interest. I kept telling myself I'm honoring my promise to HC by staying until August. Tbh at this stage, I regret all that. Keeping my words be damned. If they can treat me this way, I have no reason to back them up this far. I learned that I'm just another disposable employee. No one's gonna value you more than yourself. Fuck everyone else, and learn to be selfish. I realized I've been too naïve.

6. Be a hard worker, but be a bitch if you need to be one. I've been too kind, honest, naïve, and that lets my boss walks all over me. I've been too much of a yes person; whatever they tell me to do, I always give a can-do attitude and get it done. Now I feel I've been taken advantage of. I wish over the years I had said, "No. Sorry, but that's not on my job description." If they wanna be petty, be petty too.

7. Don't trust anyone but yourself. Everyone may seem like friends, but know that they can throw you under the bus at any given moment. Always look after yourself first, and everyone else second.

Tbh, I'm only being nice at work right now because I need the reference from my SC. Otherwise I would've turned into an absolute bitch. I'm still young. I have, and will continue to make lots of mistakes. However I'm bound to learn these sooner or later. Perhaps everyone in this sub has known this, and not everyone will agree with what I wrote, but it's only my 5 cents.

Thanks for reading.

Submitted June 15, 2018 at 08:35AM by throwawayyy5689 https://ift.tt/2lcSfIf