So, my husband and I are part of a small group that meets and studies varies topics. Currently it's meeting in our house, by default because the group had nowhere else to meet. We thought it would be nice to have a BBQ to mark the beginning of summer, but as we couldn't afford to buy meat for everyone, we made it a bring and share and emailed out a sign up sheet.
Night of the BBQ, this guy who we had met once turned up and brought EIGHT other people with him and NO FREAKING FOOD. Like, what the actual heck? His main friend in the group had forwarded him the invitation, so he had the details and the sign up sheet. I assume he didn't read it properly, but still, it's really poor form to bring nine extra people to a BBQ and not contribute anything.
To make matters worse, none of our actual friends signed up to bring mains, so we were the only ones providing meat. (When we saw this, we did end up buying extra meat ahead of time because we expected one or two people to turn up empty-handed or to not bring much). Our friends all trickled in slowly, mostly 45 mins late. So our meagre supply of chicken had to feed 21 people. It was really embarrassing and stressful as the hostess.
Thankfully we had a rummage in the fridge and found extra corn to throw on the grill, and bread rolls, and my husband came up with a quick rice dish. And our neighbours ran to their place and pulled out some burgers. So there was enough to go round. But it was stressful and unpleasant for me, until everyone ate and then I was able to relax. If those people hadn't come there would have been plenty.
I'm resentful that these nine people didn't even bring a host gift like a drink or a salad or bread. I think I'm so annoyed about it because my husband and I are really poor right now (but on a good path towards having a decent income soon). This means we're really frugal. We're at the point where he doesn't have any pants left without holes in them except work pants, and we went out for coffee recently and my husband only bought one coffee - for me! Normally even buying milk and teabags for this group is kind of hard for us, because we know we won't have much of an income for X more weeks.
I really hope in the future that we can have more money and be more generous, but right now I'm verging on resentful of this group meeting at our house, as I feel like it's really taking advantage of us, a young married couple, who don't have solid jobs right now.
I guess my strategy if I hosted a potluck in future would be to call everyone the day before, confirm that they are coming and what they are bringing.
Am I overreacting?? Sorry this is long! It's hard to vent to my family or friends because it makes me sound cheap.
TLDR; a guy we had met once turned up to our BBQ and brought eight other people with him, all empty-handed.
July 12, 2017 at 12:46AM
