I [21 M] have always been good with my money, I've got an awesome job, stuff's paid on time, flawless credit, I have my insurance, emergency funds, savings, investment accounts and financial goals. I've got all my ducks in a row.
My dad [60 M] on the other hand, is not. He has never been good with money. For some reason if a credit card raises his limit, that implies he should use it. He has multiple credit cards that are in the red. He has a LOC which is also in the red. I'm faintly aware that he also has an RRSP but I'm not sure how much of that exists. I don't know exact numbers yet, I'm waiting on him to show me everything. He lives way beyond his means. He probably makes a gross 25k-30k per year as a janitor. He also is a 'free-lance' programmer and on occasion gets some contracts, but I wouldn't say those really have much effect on his income at the moment. He has already been through bankruptcy once. He currently pays my mother child support for my sister [17 F]. My mother doesn't REALLY need the money, but she might have a bit of a vengeance she wants to deliver to him. I may be able to negotiate with her to give up on it. Otherwise he can probably appeal for an 'undue hardship' status.
His personality is more often than not.. clashing.. with mine, which makes some things difficult. He also has some health problems in the form of a cataract in his eye, overweight and has suffered from a blood clot before; medications for the rest of his life. Likely will be blind in a few years and unable to work.
I cannot support him financially for two reasons. The first reason is that I know my limits and I am not physically/mentally/emotionally capable of that. The second is that at 21 years old, I'm selfish, I want to live my life. I want to travel the world and build a house for myself one day (I'm allowed to dream, right?) I also live in a city about an hour and a half away, so I'm somewhat available, but I have a life too, you know?
However, I'm not going to leave him behind. I don't think I could sleep at night if he was homeless or decided to do something.. drastic.. if he felt he ran out of options. My parents have not been together since I was 10. I feel as if I've had to 'grow up' well ahead of the regularly scheduled programming. I'm the eldest out of my siblings, and I think it's just an engraved 'older brother' mentality in me to take care of everyone, family & friends alike. If anyone needs help but isn't asking for it, I tend to pick up on it right away and automatically move to assist without stopping to think about it. It's just the way I am.
So Reddit, I may not seem like it with everything punctuated and proper without any swear words, but I'm starting to freak the eff out right now. If all caps was acceptable, I'd be doing that right now. I'm the next of kin, so as far as I'm aware, I'm dealing with it if he suddenly kicks the bucket or becomes critically injured.
On the bright side, I've managed to talk to him in a serious manner and explain to him that this situation is absolutely not okay. He claims he's making progress to fixing it, but I'm not fully convinced. I can't afford to leave him to his own devices because this debt should have been dealt with about $65000 ago.
I've never really dealt with debt and never anticipated I would. So, I never really budgeted on paper because my own personal finance is all in my head.
What are my options? Where do I start? Logic dictates that I get all of his financial expenses and attempt to downsize and cut down on as much of it out as possible. Possibly sell a bunch of crap he has paid a lot of money for and doesn't use.
He's always said "Oh if I have to bankrupt again it's not a big deal". Now, that REALLY grinds my gears because he's treating it like an easy way out. I'm stubborn sometimes, so, I'm very tempted to take bankruptcy totally off the table and put some hard work in with him to pay off the debt. However, bankruptcy is something I'm far from familiar of. So, perhaps that is the way to go at this point with the situation spiralling out of control like this? This isn't my field of expertise. I'm just an electrician.
I need some help, Reddit. Any advice would seriously be appreciated. Thank you for taking your time to read this!
TL;DR - My dad is about 65k in the hole, possibly going to be on disability in the next couple years and/or homeless. I want to help because I won't be able to live with myself if I don't, but I have no experience with debt and I need some help preparing to direct him while being a city away.
Submitted September 21, 2017 at 03:55AM by ThousandSunsOfFury http://ift.tt/2hi3Jv4
