my dad makes $400K a year. growing up, i always wondered how he was making so much yet we were living in a small, dirty apartment (albeit in a well-off neighborhood) and i had next to no college funds. when i had to go to college, i ended up accepting a full-ride offer to a school since i knew my dad hadn't saved money for me, and since then i have been getting refund money from my scholarship (aka i use less money than they offer me per year, so i get refunded they remaining amount). this refund money is usually $5-6 per semester, meaning i should have about $20K by now. i was planning on putting this amount into paying off med school in the near future.
however, my mom told me recently that my dad took this money, along with $30K that she had saved from getting her own job, and he lost it all in stocks. she told me this has been going on for the last 20 years, which is why we seemed to be living check-to-check even though my dad's salary was so high. she also told me has been abusive towards her throughout their relationship - he was irresponsibly spending money, causing my mom to fight with him and then he would threaten her with kicking her out of the house whenever she fought back. this fighting also impacted my siblings' education growing up. because my mom was engaged in fighting my dad, they did not get a good educational foundation and now they are not doing well in school, especially my sister, who is the youngest. my sister was doing so poorly in school that my mom decided to homeschool her. i feel that this was a terrible decision, as english is my mom's second-language and she doesn't understand how the US curriculum works. she ends up having to learn certain subjects throughout the day, and then teach them to my sister at night, who only half-heartedly listens despite the number of hours my mom puts into making that info more digestible for her.
my mom, sister, and i are currently in india for summer break, and i will be returning to the US for my last year of college in a few days. i have been telling my mom to stay in india with my little sister so that she doesn't have to go back to my dad. the only issue is that she wants to get a job to pay for living expenses, but she already spends so much time teaching my sister that this would be really unsustainable for her. i need to get a job to funnel finances to her, but i don't have a car so i don't know how i will manage in college. i am currently tutoring but that doesn't make a lot of money.
my mom and i have established a safe deposit box that my dad does not have access to, and we stashed a lot of cash in there. we also opened up a debit card in my name, and i am planning to transfer the amount of money i got from college refunds from my dad's account to my debit account. anyone have any advice as to what i can do to get my finances in order and provide for my mom?
Submitted August 13, 2023 at 03:14AM by yayeetyahhh https://ift.tt/XVrJS0a
