Hey reddit! Thanks for all those who took the time to view my post.
So let me give you guys some backstory: My father was working overseas when I was 1-17. Those were the best years of my life (though I didn’t even realize it then) and in 2017, a fallout with his boss caused him to move back to Jamaica to live with us. Thankfully, he built a house (which we now live in, rent-free).
Honestly, I wish now was actually the time he left because we have no freedom now. If my mom wants to talk to her guy friends, she has to do it when my father isn’t here. I want to pierce my nose but can’t. As more background to my dad, he has 2 other kids, two sons, 33 and 27, who aren’t very fond of him either. One is still in Jamaica and another is in France. To be honest, my brother, sister and I used to like my dad and were happy when he came home from BVI in December but now, we’ve all pulled away from him. In fact, everyone eventually pulls away from him (once they get close and realize how he is). In response to this, he blames everyone around him.
He blames my mom for not being a good mother and turning us against him, he blames us for not loving him because we’re ungrateful and don’t understand him. To be honest, I do understand a lot where he’s coming from the stuff he said, but how can only US change to fit his perfect image? He wanted his kids to be lawyers, doctors or police (especially). None of us are moving in that direction. He wants us to be perfect like him. No matter what we do, it’s never enough. As more context, I recently bought a washing machine to help out my mother, who used to wash all our clothes by hand. The day the washer came, he acted like it didn’t even exist and apparently was angry (low-key) at me for chartering a car to bring it up + because I didn’t tell him. More examples: my brother got top boy for his year in school and my father didn’t even acknowledge that. He doesn’t do anything of that sort, and if you try to talk to him (which we tried until we lost our energy and voice basically), he ‘defends’ everything and throws the blame left right and centre. He never takes responsibility for anything.
Even today there was an instance where my little brother (16) went to talk to him to stop calling him (my brother) worthless, a waste of time or ‘girl’. He came down (he was working upstairs) shortly after and blamed my mother for not pushing us in the right direction.
So apparently, I’m one of his ‘golden kids’ (me and the other brother in France) so he thinks I’ll be the one to stay with him (‘daddy’s girl’, CRINGE) when all others are gone but I don’t want to live my life in misery. Now I’m a person who plans ahead. I foresee a day when he finally chases my mother out, and that’s the day I’ll leave because I won’t stay here and be his slave. I won’t make tea for him every night or take all this foolishness.
But reddit, this is what I need advice on (financial or personal advice would do). Rent in my country, Jamaica is CRAZY expensive. The cost of living is sky high too. Right now I work online and every time I get paid, I put away half of it to an account I never touch (and I use the other half for expenses or giving my mom money from time to time since she doesn’t work). I currently have $160,000 JMD (1050 US) in a rainy day fund/towards work and travel next year (I make around $85 USD per week) but rent is like 35,000 JMD (229 US) per month (very expensive for just about everyone my age. Cost of living is high, it’s hard to find a job and when you do find one, it doesn’t pay well).
I like living in my father’s house with my mom, bro and sis but just not with my father. It sucks to think that I have to move out, but I don’t –no, I won’t – stay here with this man who makes us miserable and even threatened to kill us (about 4 times)
Now tell me, how can I afford to move out with my family in this touch economy? I already spoke to my brother and sister about this but even without rent, there are other bills to consider like light, internet, water and food.
Please help. I don’t want to stay here even though it’s not hard 24/7. I must continue planning and I must do it effectively. I’ll appreciate any advice.
Mother: 51 yrs
Me: 20 yrs,21 this year
Sister: 24 this yr
Little Brother: 17 this year
TLDR: My father makes my mother, brother, sister and I’s life miserable. I want to plan an escape route for the worst-case scenario or just in general.
May 01, 2021 at 08:55PM
