Dad made great money growing up, until I was 12. Then he was unemployed for a while, but mom wanted to continue living in the $2300/month home and buy stuff, and dad was/is an alcoholic and a heavy smoker (he's quit smoking now, yay!) So a lot of money was just being wasted.
They are now in a cheaper home, but dad is the only one who works (mom can't due to physical limitations) and he works as a salesman. He brings home around $30k.
I just got a job that pays $44k/year + bonuses and overtime. I can bump that to $50k with working more and harder, which I don't mind doing. When all is said and done, including the measly 3% I have going to my 401k, I'm left with about $900. I try to put $450 into savings, and use the remaining $450 towards debt (car note and student loans, in addition to the monthly payments, namely).
Dad's health is declining due to a bad COVID pneumonia case. He's been battling it for 3 weeks. Mom is concerned he'll need to go on disability and won't be able to work. That puts them in a pretty bad spot, obviously.
I gave them my car a few years ago after they filed for bankruptcy, and I took another car loan out in my name to facilitate them having my first one and myself having a second. My name is on both; they pay me monthly for that payment, which is good. However, I'm starting to think that I may need to pay that, as well as the student loans they have for me (parent plus). That'll knock $350 off the $900 I have left over, leaving me with $550.
My issue is that I want to break this cycle and set myself up for financial freedom, and taking on their debts in addition to my living expenses and debts will not really allow me to do so. I'm considering going back to grad school to get a higher paying job to facilitate helping them more.
I am planning on moving to an apartment with 3 other people to knock my rent down $300, which will help.
I feel financially responsible for them at 23, and I'm scared I won't be able to do enough. I need help setting boundaries and understanding what limits are okay.
Tl;dr: I have older parents. Dad works, mom doesn't, I bring home more than dad does and I feel like I need to give them more. I'm cutting down on my expenses to be able to facilitate more giving. The issue is that by doing so, I lose out on my own financial freedom. When is it okay to draw the line? Is it okay? Should I be giving them all of my excess income since they're older?
Submitted November 24, 2020 at 12:07AM by mandiman97 https://ift.tt/3778Qop
