My fiancee and her brother are attempting to take out a mortgage to buy their mother a house. The mother is semi-retired and about half her tiny income is social security payouts. The mother broke her ankle and so can't work right now and is in the midst of a contentious divorce. My fiancee and I are already stretched very thin living in NYC and also paying for the mother's lawyers. The divorce is far from finalized. The mother and her soon to be ex-husband stopped paying for their expensive house, and so the bank can start going after it any day now.
I'm very frustrated bc my advice falls on deaf ears. My factual arguments as for what is best financially and in the long run is countered simply by unrealistic arguments that appeal to emotions not facts. For example, the mother owns another home outright. I told her the mortgage on that house is so cheap ($900) that she should simply move back in, and save up some money before planning her next move. Instead she rented it out to a tenant who has already paid late several times and proved themselves combative. My next advice is for the mother to find a cheap rental property asap, save up some money, and plan her next move. I can't seem to be able to relay to my fiancee how troublesome buying a house would be for her right now.
My fiancee is appx. $320,000.00 in debt... Mostly from student loans at an expensive art school. She makes good money, but so much of her income goes straight to debt payments that she has far less left over each month than I. She's only had a job for a couple years so I've been carrying the financial burden for about 6 years now. She usually manages to pay her share of rent, but everything else falls on me. Vacations, computers, moving to a new apartment, new furniture, groceries, utilities, etc... I've had to take out maybe three $10k plus loans over the past 6 years to keep us liquid and to move to a new apartment last year. I won't be done paying off one of those loans for another five years...
We're also attending many friends weddings this year and also trying to plan our own. As of a week ago, I can no longer afford.our own wedding which is modest to say the least. On top of all this... She wants to take out a mortgage for her mother.
My gut tells me this is an incredibly risky decision that will haunt us for decades. I also feel like this is our money and thus our decision since we will be married soon. I also think it could hurt our chances at buying our own home. And I worry what happens to our finances if the mother can't pay the mortgage payments. My fiancee is so gung ho on the idea that she almost let a shady real estate agent talk her into committing occupancy fraud in order to get a preferential mortgage rate... Luckily I was there to explain how terrible an idea that is... But as far as convincing the mother and fiancee that she should suck it up and rent for six months to a year and get back on her feet financially and physically, I am having no luck. Any suggestions? Is this between her and her mom only? Or, is this a decision that could put her mother before me and my future wife and family - and thus it's as much my decision as hers? Very confused.
Submitted May 02, 2019 at 06:53AM by tjsh315 http://bit.ly/2Wh7bpj
