F(26). I’ve always been fairly frugal. I wouldn’t say I’m cheap because I do most of the things I want to - take vacations, roadtrips, go out with friends, etc. But I’m always mindful of my budget and saving goals and try to save ~50-60% of my take home.
The men I’ve dated in recent years have expressed that they don’t like that I earn more than them (not my problem!) and most of my relationship anxieties came from fear of being with someone who isn’t financially stable. My last ex refused to make a budget when we lived together or think about saving towards future goals.
Now, certainly not trying to change anyone. I’ve done my fair share of that in the past and it’s toxic for everyone involved. I want to find someone who’s on a similar page and thinks financial stability is important.
I now try to pick up on subtle clues early on. Does their apartment seem cluttered with a ton of unnecessary stuff (impulse buys?). I try and bring up light financial topics early on to get a read and sometimes this is successful but not sure if I should just be more direct since it’s important to me.
I don’t want to come off like I’m looking for a ~sugar daddy or that I want to control the other person. I just don’t want to worry about their finances at all, and if the relationship became serious that we were on a similar page. Any tips on navigating?
April 04, 2019 at 10:45AM
