tldr; at the bottom if you want to skip the sob story.
Basically I've lived at home with my mom and brother my entire life and have never been on my own. I turn 28 in a couple months and I feel like I'm so behind the curve I don't know what to do.
I work entry level IT making 36k/yr without a college degree or any certifications. However, the work I do is so damn unfulfilling and easy that I often find myself having 3-4 hours left in the day and I don't know if this is good or bad. I feel like I'm wasting my potential and could be doing so much more but not sure how. It's not like I get recognition and due to my lack of credibility on my resume I can't get a job making at least $50k-60k/yr (which is what I consider enough to be living on my own comfortably).
My brother owns the house we live in and splits the mortgage with my mother. Basically, I contribute nothing except for miscellaneous household purchases and groceries at times. I also pay for cable/internet/other entertainment expenses. He bought the house when he was my age and I feel like shit freeloading but at the same time have no money to contribute unless I only make the minimum on my loans. Even when we go out as a family for meals or shopping, he's paying for everything. I always tell myself if I ever get a real job the first thing I'm going to do is write him a check within the first year to pay back all he's done.
All the money I make either goes to student loans, racked up credit card debt, or my car. About $400 goes towards food/miscellaneous purchases throughout the month. Anything left over goes into savings (which is usually no more than $150-200 a month) which has about $6k at the moment.
Student loans - $22k (paying $750 a month)
Car - $9k (paying $230 a month)
Credit card - $2.5k (paying $400 a month...this card was interest free until Oct so I need it paid off by then)
I consider myself fortunate because I imagine most people my age are not in my situation and either barely make ends meet living alone/with a roommate or are successful enough to enjoy life on their own.
If I was on my own there would be absolutely no way I could manage. I don't have any friends, no significant other/relationship, I don't socialize with anyone at work aside from those I have to in regards to work tasks, and I have no fallback option. If god forbid something happened to my family or my brother decided he wants out then I'd be completely screwed. On top of that, my mom wants to retire within the next 5 years and is expecting me to support her when that happens as she has no retirement savings. I can't blame her for this because she was a single parent and used all her money on us as opposed to thinking about the future.
I take a lot of it for granted because I've never struggled financially and sometimes I want to just go live on my own for a year to see if I can manage but I'm scared I'd fuck up and end up homeless. There's a lot of expectations my family has of me so if I were to just say fuck it and leave then that basically closes the door for me going back. However, I feel like I have missed out on a lot of "life opportunities" because of the situation I'm in. I can't go out and socialize because how embarrassing would it be to tell people I'm still 28 and living at home. I wouldn't be able to invite people over because my family is too conservative for that.
I don't know what I could be doing differently aside from "get a better paying job" because yeah that's clearly the easiest thing to do in the world. As I mentioned before, the job I do is not difficult at all and I only got it because the company was desperate for applicants and I was laid off my previous job (which had me making $42k but I was there nearly 5 years). I know I'm capable of more but I'm the type of person that learns by doing and not by studying/taking exams.
I don't want to tell my manager that I feel like I never have work to do because I know I'll end up with a shit ton of responsibilities with barely any additional compensation, if any. And if I refuse then they know that I'd either be working at less than 100% productivity or considering leaving and would get rid of me first.
I know that it could be much worse for me, but it's just a shitty situation to be in and is taxing me mentally. I've been tracking my expenses for the past 2 yeas so I know how much is coming in / going out of my bank account. That being said, I feel like I have no financial or social freedom. I'm living day in and out just going to work, coming home, making the same payments, all on repeat for almost 5 years. I honestly don't see myself getting married or even being in a relationship in the foreseeable future, even though everyone in my family expects it.
Financially I'm in a very shitty situation but it doesn't feel like it because I don't live by myself. As fortunate as I am, I'm very unhappy with my life as it is. I want to be able to have the financial freedom TO live on my own and I don't know how to go about that. Even if everything remained constant for the next 3 years, I'd have paid down my debt by a significant amount but I'd still be living at home in my 30s miserable because I'm trapped.
tldr; Making 36k/yr at 28 while living off my mom/brother at home. Want to get out of this situation and live on my own, but can't due to all the debt I have accrued. Can't just get another job because I have no degree nor can I afford to finish school. I don't feel financially stressed but I am miserable because all my income pretty much goes to my debt and even if it didn't I couldn't afford to live on my own with the salary I make. No friends/no relationship/nothing.
Submitted June 03, 2018 at 12:08AM by scrapelogical https://ift.tt/2sIdXqX
