Growing up I lived with my mom. She made less than ~$12k a year, which constitutes as poverty. I didn't ever go hungry or live in filth, but I did have a lot of emotional stress because she told me about how we were going to lose our apartment, electricity, etc on a weekly basis. My dad had partial custody and he made a decent salary but chose to live frugally. He made a lot of odd choices and we rarely had food in his house (not sure if lazy or frugal lol). I never took a vacation with my family, I couldn't go on field trips that costed money, etc.
This isn't a sob story, though! I know that I still had a lot more than other people, but I flipped into a frugal mindset at a very young age. I ended up going to a university in my state and was able to have tuition waived through a grant program since our family income was so low - truly amazing. I worked full-time through college to pay for my housing and saved up money for studying abroad.
I took a year off after undergrad and then ended up finding a job at a college. The pay was prettttty low ($37k for a major city) but I took the job because I knew I could get a degree. I ended up getting my masters and the school paid for it - highly recommend for anyone looking to go back to school. I graduated and started my job search and I've landed a good gig at a small company. I currently make about $75k a year and I feel SO weird about it. I know that I worked my ass off to get here but I still don't feel like I deserve it. Especially since I'm only 25. I see some of my former coworkers struggling and just feel guilty. I don't have much contact with my mom because she's pretty toxic but I do feel guilty knowing that she makes practically nothing but I can't keep sending her money and enabling it.
Does anyone else feel similarly? I'm still living on a pretty frugal basis. I save about 70% of my takehome and use the rest for living expenses and traveling. My coworkers make even more money than me and I feel stressed out about the idea of lifestyle inflation. Some of them have really expensive watches/clothes and live in luxury buildings. I still live like I'm making my old salary. I don't know, I wish I could feel more confident about where I'm at. I keep feeling like I don't deserve it and the idea of getting a raise in the future makes me feel sick....which is crazy!! Idk, this has been a rant.
May 17, 2018 at 04:35PM
