Alright, I'm going to try and condense this. Sorry if this sounds kinda complicated. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them. Also, please don't judge my family too harshly, since I haven't explained our entire situation. I'm just trying to get some financial advice, not a moral assessment.
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My mom and dad bought a house together - the one they planned to grow old in. It overlooks the water and is very beautiful. Blah blah blah. They put a ton of money into renovating the home to suit their needs and dreams. Whatever.
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They had bought this place while I was still in school. I had an arrangement with my parents that I could still live at home while finishing college. I have my own space here, so I was cool with it for a while. I think we realized it would be financially beneficial to all of us too (I think they might have gotten write-offs on their taxes, I'm not sure - whatever). I was also told I was allowed to stay up to 1-2 years after college graduation, depending on job opportunities and my own spending habits, etc. This was all my dad's idea, of course - he ran our finances around here. The deal was I basically had to prove that I was going to set aside money for savings, etc. after I got my first real job.
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Dad passed away within a year of moving into this new home. He left a couple of policies behind for us but they were all in my mom's name. He always told me they were meant for me too, as long as I was still going to school, but he wasn't too worried about dying anyway. He also was positive my mom would make the right financial decisions if he did die. Unfortunately, he was wrong on all fronts.
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My mom ended up spending every last cent of dad's policies. Granted, some of it did go towards important expenses (funeral costs, etc.), although most of it went to superficial items that my mom purchased to try and cope with her depression that followed his death. She's still struggling with all of that grief, but now she sees a mental health professional that helps her make somewhat sounder choices (aka not going on $5,000 shopping sprees).
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However, while she was making these horrid choices - I was basically stuck supporting her along with myself on a minimum wage salary. I was working as many hours as I could get, but it wasn't enough. I also dropped out of school at that time - it was getting too hard to deal with financially supporting the both of us. Plus her crazy choices powered by her grief, as well as dealing with my own grief was rough. Anyway, I ended up running up $8,000 in credit card debt in order to pay for expenses such as groceries, personal care products, cleaning products, and whatnot. We didn't qualify for food stamps or anything like that either because my mom actually makes a really decent salary. At that time I was being included in their taxes, although I'm not now - praise!
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Anyway, my mom filed for bankruptcy this year because I guess she finally realized she wasn't living within her means. She had all of her debts excused (or whatever the technical term for getting rid of it is) including student loans in her name, which I hear is a rare thing for the government to allow, so I feel really lucky for her. If she's gonna tank her credit score with bankruptcy... she might as well have everything taken care of.
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My credit score is so-so. It was always really good, but since I've got $8,000 in credit card debt... and I'm currently being harassed by debt collectors, it's done a nose-dive. However, my goal for 2018 is to have all my credit card debt settled and paid off. I think it's an attainable goal, especially since minimum wage is going up.
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By the way, I'm not in school right now. I was never able to finish my program because of all the stress surrounding my dad's death. I'm also not actually working right now either since I had some struggles with health right around the time that all of this was happening, which put me out of work for this past year. Finally, my health is looking up, though!! My doctors are confident I can start working within the next few months.
I say all of this to say... I'm trying to make a financial plan for myself, but I'm also trying to help my mother, especially since as she ages - I'm going to be responsible for her in some capacity. I say this because...
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My mom and I have decided that, if my future spouse is cool with it - I will probably look for a future home with a secondary suite attached for my mom to live in since she plans on remaining single from here on out. Dating doesn't interest her. It might one day, but who knows? What I do know is, my mom wants to live with me as she ages. If my spouse is super cool with it, then great. If not? I will probably still help my mother live in a retirement community in some capacity as she will be on a single income. Basically, our finances will be intertwined, especially since she's without my father now. I'm fine with this responsibility... under some conditions. Basically, one condition! She needs to get her finances in better order and prove it to me! I know her bankruptcy cleared her of her debts, but I really think she needs a lot more help in the financial department. My dad always did that and she's so lost. She doesn't even have a running budget, which terrifies me because how do you spend money if you don't know where it's going? So anyway, what would be the recommended route to help guide her down a more positive path? Would a financial advisor be recommended at this time? I know she has a retirement plan with her work, but I also know she knows nothing about that kinda thing since my dad helped her with it. By the way, her salary should be roughly 70k by next year. She has 10 years until retirement too. I feel like there are so many steps she can take to be sure she will live comfortably as she ages, but I don't know if she'll take these steps if I don't hold her hand while doing it. So where do we go from here (for her)? Would a visit to a financial advisor work here? If she lives with me in the future, I'm going to expect her to contribute in some way - obviously.
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For me: In addition to the $8,000 credit card debt, which I hope to have squared away within the upcoming year. I have some student loans too (my dad was all about making sure I paid for school myself - he had that immigrant mentality, which makes sense as he was an immigrant). My student loans are overdue as of last month, so I'm currently looking into switching into PAYE. I have roughly 23k in student loans currently. I don't know if this is the best decision (switching to PAYE), but as I won't have a steady stream of income for about 3 months or so (while I work on my health and look for a new job) - I feel like it might be my best choice, especially since I want to be putting my income towards paying off my credit card debt once I am able to. Does anyone have any thoughts for me? Also, what would be your advice for me? I'm planning to finish school too, although I will have to take out additional student loans for that. I'm hoping scholarships will fund most of the rest of my schooling, though. Anyway, I had about a year left before I stopped going to classes, but I'm thinking of extending my education by an additional year in order to get into a program with a more lucrative career track. Once I pay off my credit card debt, how should I start saving (knowing that I'll only have student loans, etc. at that point)? Should I consider talking to somebody too? I literally know nothing about finance, except that I should probably have a savings account and a retirement account - I currently have neither. For me, my future goals for my finances include:
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a simple, but livable home (it doesn't need to be fancy or on the water either; I'm a lot simpler than my parents ever dreamed I'd be haha, however, I'm from New York and a normal-sized family home is roughly $500k+, so I'm going to have to save a decent downpayment for myself within the next 10 years; I'm willing to move too, of course, although I'd like to live in a place with similar vibes as my home state. California, Washington, Oregon, Michigan, and Illinois seem to be the most appealing places to me, but I'm not gonna be too picky)
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I'd like to have 2-3 kids, which by the way - I'm going to probably have to do IVF and/or adopt, so I know that's an added expense, which I also need to set money aside for
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vehicles for both my spouse and myself would probably be ideal
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I would hopefully like to start an education fund for each of my children
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I'd also like to maybe go on a vacation every couple of years, if possible; that would be nice, but I don't want to get greedy here haha
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the ability to retire at a normal age
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the ability to help an aging parent, especially if she's single; I won't obviously pay for everything, but supplementing some sort of income for her seems like a reasonable goal to have
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I'd also like to afford a small, humble wedding too, but that's not at the top of my priorities; I don't need a big blow out - getting married at town hall could work perfectly fine for me, but if I can afford even a tiny reception - that would be of interest to me
So yeah, how do I start figuring out where I want to allocate my money once I actually don't have credit card debt?! What happens in a year or 2 or 5, once I'm actually earning more?? I'm a preparer-type, so I like having some kind of plan, even if it changes.
Also, this would probably be important to note, but I don't know who I'm gonna end up with, but the person I'm currently seeing does not have a projected high income. At all. That's okay with me, but... I'm trying to figure out the steps I need to take in the next 5, 10, 15, and 20 years to turn my finances around, especially if I'm going to be the person that brings in the most money for my family. I'm not above investing one day too (obviously not today haha) if there are investments that seem reasonably safe to involve myself in. Actually, my extended families own many businesses, including upscale restaurants in NYC and Los Angeles, and there are some other businesses they've tried to get me involved with too, but I never have any money. So basically, I don't know what steps I should be taking today, as well as what steps I should try to map out for my future.
Thanks so much in advance!!
Submitted December 04, 2017 at 03:28AM by gaylor_swift http://ift.tt/2ieH2VZ
