Hi everyone,
First time posting here but I've found a lot of my questions answered here in the past so thought I'd give it a go.
My boyfriend (30) and I (29) have been together for a little over a year now.
We both still live at home (let's not get into that, but my parents are firmly against renting and have raised me to feel the same way, and my boyfriend is a freelance photographer who just isn't that great at saving for big seemingly unattainable things like property).
A few months ago I saved enough to start looking to purchase my first property to live in. Buying together was never an option; we've only been together for a little over a year and don't want to over-complicate things. I also earn more than him in my steady full time job, and I'm more of a saver than him. His parents have challenged him on this a few times, and a year ago they had asked him if he had a plan on how and when he was going to move out. He managed to appease them later on when our relationship got more serious and I started house hunting, but I'm sure that's not the "plan" his parents were expecting. I think they'd like him to be smarter with his money, which he often spends on music, new gadgets, eating out, coffee etc. We had a few discussions about what would happen once I found a place i.e. would he move in. And I voiced that my main concern was if he could afford to. He'd say it depends on what I'd want him to contribute to.
He was supportive throughout the house hunting and settlement process. He attended the open house while I was overseas because I wanted his opinion of the place and he thought to ask the agent some sticky questions I hadn't thought to ask, and took a closer look at things I'd forgotten to inspect myself when I'd gone to the open house the week before (he couldn't make that one).
Initially, the plan was that he would stay over a few nights a week but still head back home, as he has more space to work there. We'd also agreed that he would pay half of utilities, internet, and groceries. He had suggested paying for all the groceries but that just seemed unfair. The intent was that he would move in eventually.
Skipping ahead to the present, two weeks post-settlement, we've been spending most of our weekends furniture shopping and cleaning the place etc.
I've paid for all the furniture and appliances, although he chipped in for the TV as he wanted one with higher specs than the one I would've bought, so he paid the difference. I set up the electricity, gas, wifi (though we'll split those bills), and I'm paying the contents insurance. I paid for the locksmith to change the locks. I've paid for most of the smaller items like kitchenware and cutlery, small appliances, bed linen, towels, detergent, toilet paper.
He has pitched in every now and then when he happens to be out and finds something we'd need, like surge protectors/powerboards, a step ladder, hairdryer etc.
This weekend, he suggested that we should get a desk for him to put his iMac on so he could work there. We'd originally discussed this but decided we'd only do it once he was moving in, so I reminded him of this. He said he'd been thinking that it's pretty inevitable he'd be moving in soon anyway, so that we should just do it, and I'm happy with that.
So my question is, now that he'll be moving in, should anything change regarding how we are dealing with costs? Should he be contributing to the contents insurance too? Should he be paying for some of the furniture, or at least the furniture just for him like the desk and desk chair he'll need for his iMac? Should he be paying board? I don't expect him to pay anything to do with the property itself, like repairs etc. and certainly not the mortgage.
One thing that's important to note is that we use his car to go everywhere. I don't have a car, and although I have my licence I haven't driven in years so I'm not very comfortable behind the wheel. He pays for the petrol and servicing and insurance, and has never asked me to contribute, as he uses his car a lot for work anyway. I've told him that I don't take this for granted, and I don't, because all the moving would have been really tough without him.
I decided to pose this question here instead of in Relationships because there have been no issues between us regarding how finances will be split. I just need some advice on if I'm going about this correctly, and how to make sure I'm being fair about this so that no resentment is likely to develop in the future.
Submitted December 12, 2017 at 06:45AM by laudanumx http://ift.tt/2iT8Kb1
