Currently 34/female/californian.
I started a small business in college at 21 that made $900,000 annually. Then I met "Tal" when I was 27. Tal swooped in, knocked me off my feet, we married, and after 3 years of marriage, I found that Tal had stolen $200,000 from me -- Drained my retirement savings with forged documents, sent money to his family instead of my business vendors, forged my signature and used my SSN for fraudulent credit cards, faked a number of tax returns...
I filed for divorce immediately after confronting him. Tal beat me when I confronted him with evidence and I literally had no option but to FLEE. As in-- take the car keys, a random change of clothes, and run for my life. Without shoes! I'll never forget the first thing I bought as a free woman was a fresh pair of sneakers and socks. I found a cheap (for my town) apartment by taking over the lease from a friend who was moving out.
Anyway, I filed, I got a decent attorney, the court ordered Tal to pay $60,000 in attorneys fees. Tal has not yet paid this sum, as ordered, to my lawyers. My divorce lawyer has now quit.
My ex has kept up a long sustained period of harassment, intimidation, and stalking, to the point where I can no longer get a regular job in my city. I can't afford to move because my credit is shitty. Where I am now, my rent is relatively cheap.
I work freelance, but it barely pays by bills.
I have a car, but have not made a payment on it in 1 year. I have about $11k left on the loan, which is likely in collections. I have $20k in unpaid student loan debt. I owe the IRS $19,000 due to Tal filing fraudulent joint tax returns, as well as $61,000 that is owed to my divorce lawyer. I'm absolutely certain I am leaving stufff out.
After getting a very freaked-out-call from my insurance agent, I canceled my life insurance policy, but apparently I still have about $4000 in cash value in it that can be used to borrow against.*
*(If anyone knows how to do this, let me know. I don't remember what my insurance agent said about this policy exactly, but he did tell me 'borrowing against $4000' was a possibility.)
I really need help. I don't have family or friends I can rely on to assist (former foster care, lots of abusive family members, so they are not going to help at all). I spent the last 6 days in a mental hospital because I vented my frustration on Facebook, and an acquaintance called the police claiming I was going to kill myself. While this was VERY NOT TRUE on a number of levels, I was taken in and unable to leave. My being irate about the involuntary detention wasn't helpful. Equally unhelpful was coming from the foster care system. I couldn't find someone to "vouch" for me to stay with so that I could be discharged sooner, and as soon as I said, "foster care" it's like they tacked on extra days for no reason. I'm pissed as fuck, but of sound mind despite all of this. The hospital stay cost me 2 freelance gigs, which I needed for rent. And I also have a hospital bill as well, I think.
I make $1800/mo freelancing, $1500 goes to rent, $50 to food (i am a great cook, so I make this go far with aggressive couponing and lots of bread making), the rent to phone and internet bills. I'm not frivilous. I don't drink. I enjoy $2 Taco Tuesday once a month when I eat out as a $6 investment in my mental well-being. Were I not in this shitty situation, I would more likely than not be doing vastly better than I am.
I am thinking of filing bankruptcy. I have experience starting businesses that turn a profit, and from where I am at, filing bankruptcy could be a step up from where I am now. After all, new businesses are almost never able to borrow for the first few years anyway, and at least I'd have a few years of breathing room.
If anyone has help, please feel free to chime in! I have a few specific questions:
1) should I file for BK to at least be able to keep my car?
2) how do I get my ex to pay on this court order?
3) my ex stole my business, essentially. he continues to operate it and pulls money from it through cash withdrawals and embezzlement, which weirdly put his slightly out of the court's ability to force him to pay anything
4) Yes, I apply for other work. Even shitty work. I have been turned down by MOST fast food places and maid services because they think I'll quit. Really I'd work any job that brings in regular money. I freelance for graphic design, and I regularly email/reach out to clients to see if they need someone fulltime. I currently work 10 hours a week at a marble tiling company in addition to freelancing. I have 2 house-cleaning clients. It pays $15/hr cash daily, and will literally take any cash-paying job at this point. I'm 22 credits shy of my bachelors, and YES, I am taking steps to return to school to finish my degree. (Slow as that progress may be.)
5) My "4 year's plan" is to move from this place to somewhere I know I'll be safe from my ex's continued abuse and harassment, change my name, and maybe do some other shit in life. I have no kids. I know this is possible, I just dont know how.
(The cops locally don't seem to take his threats seriously, and TWICE I have spent time in a jail holding cell after my ex broke into my apartment and I defended myself with a baseball bat. I have surveillance cameras inside and outside my home, and both times charges were dropped as it was clear I was defending myself. AND YET my ex was not arrested or charged. WTF?!)
TL:DR -- Super broke, getting a divorce from a harassing and thieving ex-spouse, need help charting a course out of this.
(edits -- I am trying to format this. i'm new to this)
Submitted August 29, 2017 at 08:04PM by FullyThrowingAway http://ift.tt/2vI5un0
