My sister (Jen) died very suddenly a few years ago when my niece (Claire) was a teenager. My sister was divorced for a few years from Claire's father, Tom. She divorced him for being irresponsible and an all around jerk to her and the kids. I'm over ten years younger than my sister so I am not significantly older than my niece.
After Jen's death, I've tried to be there for Claire in any way possible. In some instances, Tom has asked me for money for her (but I have never given any directly to him). He's gone on expensive vacations immediately after asking me for this money, and I wonder if he's asking around the family (she has a senile grandfather).
He's the type of person who would ask if he could collect "all the expensive stuff" from your sister's house the day after she died, so anything is possible with this guy.
Claire is now 20. She is on her father's health insurance, and his is the only permanent address she has while in college. She generally avoids staying actually staying with him and either goes to her boyfriend's house or flies out to stay with me.
Claire is studying abroad right now and sent me a note that alarmed me. I've been keeping it cool about it, letting her know she's young and only has two years of credit, but I have a feeling as I discover more things, this is going to be one hell of a rabbit hole.
She's looking at going to graduate schools and was talking to her step-mother. Her step-mother mentioned that she shouldn't get her hopes up for graduate school financial aid, given all her unpaid medical bills---that Claire didn't know about.
Claire confronted her father and he said that he knew that Claire couldn't afford the bills (the deductible before his insurance kicked in) and that he couldn't, so he'd been throwing them out. He said, "everyone does that and no one really takes medical bills seriously". I know she's had a series of medical bills from when she was 17-18, but I have no idea what her deductible/co-insurance would have been.
I'm pairing this in my mind with something else that has caused me to be concerned, though I couldn't figure out why. She told Tom that she was going to save up for a car (she has a job), and he told her that she couldn't get a car. She told him he didn't really have a choice since she's an adult, and he said that since he claims her on his taxes, he'd be legally required to put her on his car insurance. I know this isn't true, but I can't figure out what he's covering up.
Claire still has three weeks left on her study abroad, so I don't want to dig into things until she's back (and freak her out). I can't dig into things without her because I need her permission and social security number. But I am also worried that Tom is covering up something much, much worse.
I have a few things I'm worried about--first is that these medical bills are real and unpaid. Second is it seems like he's trying to get her to avoid taking a loan for anything/avoid seeing her credit report. Maybe the medical bills are made up (and he's using them to feel like any credit issues are HER fault). I'm worried that when we pull this report, there's going to be a crazy amount of stuff attributed to her, courtesy of Tom and Tom's wife.
I want to go into this with a game plan because I have a feeling she's going to be very, very freaked out when we pull the results of her credit report. I'm probably going to fly out there when she's back and look at things together and develop a game plan.
I have a few questions and appreciate any advice outside of the questions too.
-
Should I be doing anything in addition to pulling her credit reports and credit scores to dig into this situation?
-
If there are unpaid medical bills, is there any sort of negotiation I could do to get them off her credit report if I pay them for her? (Since she's 20, she could have only been legally responsible for them in the last 2 years)
-
If there are credit accounts that are opened under her name, what should my steps be?
-
Are there things I should do to help her build her credit? Co-signing a credit card with a low credit limit, etc.
-
What else should I do to help her get her life in order and distance herself from her father?
I appreciate any assistance and advice. I just can't believe someone could act like this towards their own child.
tl/dr: Niece's father is trying to prevent her from taking out loans; suggests her credit is ruined from medical bills she doesn't know about.
Submitted June 27, 2017 at 09:26AM by myfitnesspalindrome http://ift.tt/2tgxmRM
