Generally speaking, my wife enjoys nice things. I have tempered this attitude a lot over the years, but she grew up with very little, and suddenly got a huge raise and is now the primary breadwinner by far.
We put away a decent percentage of our income. But now that she got this huge raise, instead of putting away more, she wants to start living luxuriously. I let her buy a really nice purse, perhaps I shouldn't say let, I was OK with that I suppose? But I'm finding it difficult to justify not adjusting our lives to match this new set of income.
The thing is, we are always going to be safe. My job is very secure, and the amount that we have put away, and are putting away, is respectable.
here is the problem (sorry it's so far down here)*: I don't think that an increase in salary means we need to change the way we live our lives. The things that make us happy, or at least make me happy, aren't those that require spending a lot of money on. Even if I got a $50,000 raise, there's no way I would go out and buy a Rolex, you know? To me, having a ton of money stored up and invested is a form of safety. It gives you the freedom to do what you want. It gives me the ability to give my children money to start their lives when we have kids
** I need help crafting a message that will resonate with her** I know that if we were to put more money away, we will always be secure is long as we don't make dumb decisions. ** how do I combat the "we make more, let's start getting nice things" message"?
** it is very difficult to manage money between two people, where I am more comfortable living frugally, spending money on experiences in on things, but at the same time she's making so much more than me, and although in theory that shouldn't matter, in practice it is proving harder**
May 26, 2017 at 12:33PM
