I (F) and my partner (M) are discussing marriage. He has 3 children and owns a house, and had early in our relationship expressed a desire for me to sign a prenuptial agreement before we ever got married, to protect his children from losing eventual ownership of the house. (Aside from obvious situations like divorce affecting things, if we married without a prenuptial, if he died, then I got remarried and also died, the house would pass to my next spouse rather than to his children, and this spouse may decide to keep the house for himself which is not desirable for the children.)
I’ve been happy to sign the prenup as I understand and support him protecting his assets for his children, but lately he’s also brought up the option of us not getting a prenuptial. He says he trusts me to not try and ruin him if we ever divorced.
We’ve also found that keeping things separated through a prenup creates further financial complications. For example, we would both like for me to be able to contribute financially to the house in a way that feels safe for me. If I sign a prenup I do not feel great about paying large sums of money towards house maintenance, as this seems like a poor investment of my money as I won’t be getting that back in the future. I feel like I’d be better off saving that money for my retirement or for a house deposit of my own.
He also feels unsure about paying for a prenup as it seems expensive and a hassle, and he has said he heard that prenups don’t necessarily guarantee protection anyway. We both value independence, but also want to build a life together and feel like a team financially.
TLDR; we both want to ensure his house is passed on to his kids long term, and also in the meantime operate as a team financially without putting up blocks to us truly combining our lives together. Any suggestions on ways we can manage this? Are there good alternatives to prenuptials? Thanks for reading this!
Submitted September 24, 2022 at 11:45PM by starla_blabla https://ift.tt/uzyFKME
