I graduated college with a decent size of student loans and credit card debt (from paying tuition). All my friends had their parents pay for college. As a cherry on top, almost all of them are also making more money than I am, and even though I am getting paid below the market average, my salary is not bad by any means (engineering). I am also trying to help my sister with her college tuition, while all my friends come from millionaire households.
Now the problem: My friends are living like kings, spending hundreds of dollars shopping every month, buying the latest iPhone, $100+ shoes and nice-ass clothes, while I am walking around in my $15 pair of sneakers, free pair of sunglasses from last year's college career fair and old ass clothes, meal prepping and reading Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki. I want to be DEBT-FREE and maybe FI/RE someday, not having to sell my time for money anymore. But I cannot help but feel jealous/insecure and as if I don't fit in with the rest of them. I also don't do well with the group when I have to calculate if I can go to this bar or that restaurant, trying to do mental math if I have enough "fun money" left in my budget and arguing over why the $5 I paid for a buddy's cover at this club is important to me, and I'd rather have him pay me cash than buy me a drink.
My girlfriend gets this mindset of mine and doesn't have a problem with it, but I cannot help but feel insecure and under-dressed when I go out with her and see her wearing the latest CK dress and my friend's with their $200 Ray-Bans and $100 shirts and new sneakers every week. It might be a more deep rooted problem than the frugality aspect, but I want to know if any of you have experienced this feeling, and how you might've felt about it/dealt with it. I feel like neither am I having fun by thinking over every dollar and not living in the moment, nor am I advancing financially by being able to save/invest, while my friends are having all the fun they want and also saving (albeit less than what they can) and moving ahead financially.
I really want a new pair of shoes, but neither have the money nor feel that they're worth the $40-80 I would be paying for them. I really want a TV in my apartment NOW, but I think the smart move is to wait until Black Friday. I was okay with this life until I started feeling like my privileged-ass friends might think I am too "poor" to hang out with them or my girlfriend might not think I am attractive anymore if I keep on switching between my 2 pairs of jeans and wearing 3-year old faded polos and shirts.
May 07, 2019 at 03:05PM
