I wanted to preface this by saying, yes, I understand getting into this debt was a very stupid mistake. We were in our early 20s with big plans that were incredibly stupid. Now that we have that out of the way:
A little background - 2015 was a horrible year for us financially. My husband was fired and found a job that only paid half of what he was getting before. In order to not destroy our credit and lose our home we sold it at a bit of a loss. We were homeless but slowly crawled back out and now have a condo that was bought with the help of my in laws. (They used they money they have put into their house with the deal that as soon as we could we would place the mortgage in our name. We are currently paying them the monthly payment.) BUT in order to stay afloat we depended on credit cards so we have racked up about $9000 in debt. Even though life has been crazy we have never paid a bill late. My husband has found a better paying job now, but this debt is strangling us. We had to use it a few times for groceries, but have been able to maintain at a little under $9000 for a few months.
Fast forward today - My father in law wants to help us by placing the debt we already have onto our mortgage. We are paying 16% interest on our CC debt and this would reduce it to about 4.25% which would be great at first glance. There are a few issues I have with this but I can't figure out if its my own pride or if this really is the best option.
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We would then have a mortgage that is underwater. While we have paid about 10% off already, we bought it while desperately trying to keep our daughter in her school and over paid for the place. We need to actually put about $5000 into it to sell it for what we paid for it. We arent planning on selling anytime soon, but we never know what may happen.
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We currently have two incomes but by this time next year we will be down to one as I'm required to take on an internship to graduate from school. I plan to find part time work but it is nothing that I'll be able to cover what I was making previously. So for about six months we will be struggling and a higher monthly payment will make it much harder. Then of course, I'll need to start paying off student loans.
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My father in law thinks that people who get into debt are moronic and while he hasn't directly said it to us, I know hes judging us for the debt. Or, me specifically. My husband has always been avoidant with finances and so by default I've taken charge. The issue is, he blames me for this debt because he doesn't use the credit card directly. Now, have I splurged? Of course! We could have totally not gone on any of the vacations weve been on in the past 8 years. I didnt NEED to buy that tshirt the other day. But about 60% of what's on our CC is groceries and gas and of course, interest.
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My FIL requested our bank statement and cc statement before he agreed it do it. Which I already know is his way of "creating a budget for us" aka tearing us apart for spending money differently than him. Here is the issue I have with it, I'm not a fucking child, and well, I don't really want someone else telling me that we spend too much going out to eat because I know that will come up. The thing is - I'm a full time student, work full time, and have two young kids, sometimes grabbing chipotle is the only way I can make it through the days that we don't get home til 830pm. Yes, I have tried meal preparation and planning but I have my weekends dedicated to homework and meal preparation also takes time. Whenever this discussion comes up it's what can I cut back on? They've even asked me if I really need a car for work when my commute would become 1h and 25mins instead of thirty. Which sure, I guess I could do that, but what about the $1500 computer that was purchased purely for computer games? Crickets.
I should add that while we did technically borrow this money from him he will end up not spending anything. Which I feel makes this situation a bit different than it would if he were giving us money. Yes, he is taking a risk, but again we have made these Bills a priority, and have not made a late payment and do not intend to.
Anyway, hes pressuring us to get this done with over the weekend. And I'm just hoping for some outside opinions. I don't feel comfortable with him taking our statements, tbh, I'd rather drink bleach, but if this is really what's best and there is really no other options then I'll do what I have to. Thanks!
Submitted January 17, 2019 at 09:42AM by theanxiousknitter http://bit.ly/2Fwke1J
