I went to a 4 year private school for undergrad and majored in Philosophy with the intention of going to law school afterwards. Debt for this degree amounted to 160k (this includes capitalized interest that I should have paid but did not and I also needed money for housing). Had a mental health breakdown following undergrad which made it so that I could not apply for "real" jobs and worked a part-time retail job while living with parents.
That went on for a year and a half. After which I had a major burst of inspiration. I was going to go back to school to become a sociologist. I had the whole thing planned out. It was going to be a fresh start. I was going to do everything right this time! Sure, I'd have to take out some more student loans, but I'd definitely be able to pay it off within a couple of years of graduating with my six-figure salary. I want to mention that my bipolar disorder often causes me to have delusions of grandeur and do things that in retrospect seem absolutely insane. I was in a manic-state for about 5 months and went on an insane credit card spending spree and made tons of crazy crazy plans for the future.
Without going too deep into the details, this whole adventure landed me with an additional 100k in unsubsidized debt. I scraped by with the bare minimum in every single course and because of crippling mental illness and social anxiety did not make any meaningful connections with professors. After graduation, I had a mental health breakdown and moved back in with my parents again. For five months, I did not do a day's worth of work and had two suicide attempts.
Then I had a major falling-out with my parents and they gave me 30 days to move out. In those 30 days I found a 3/4 time office assistant type position in a different city/state and moved with not much more than the shirt on my back, taking out loans to pay off expenses related to getting settled. This has been a year ago. I am now 30. I make $22k gross per year. I live in a squalid efficiency in THE roughest part of Philly (drug addicts injecting each other with heroin on my stoop, drive-by shootings, screaming and gunshots every night) and pay $400 a month. Oh, and as the cherry on the cake I am THOUSANDS of dollars in credit card and payday loan debt (I take out payday loans on an almost monthly basis).
I have no idea what to do and am close to taking drastic actions. I have lost control over my life. I have been repaying the absolute bare minimum on my student loans. I have no idea how to reduce my expenses. I walk to work through one of the worst neighborhoods in the country so I do not spend money on commuting. I practice fasting and often will go 48 hours without eating, and when I do eat it's nothing fancier than ramen or eggs with hot sauce. I have no friends and no social life so no spending there. No car. No internet at home, only mobile internet. My mental health is declining with every day and I have even considered getting into selling myself to make ends meet.
Please help me. Please help with any advice you have. I know I need to work on my mental health but that takes money which I don't have. I realize I need a higher-paying job but I am unable to function, my current job mostly involves making copies, doing custodial work and answering a couple of emails here and there. I have no skills and nothing that would make me hireable. What are my options?
Submitted September 07, 2018 at 12:42AM by harveygohome https://ift.tt/2oOQFha
