25(F). I’ve started a good career that pays well and I’m luckily able to work 40 hours a week. This leaves some free time. I finished grad school last year which freed up SO much time, as I was working FT and going to class at night, meeting with project teams constantly, homework, and then I had to work weekends to save money.
Anyway, I figured once I finished school I’d start to feel more like myself. It’s been a year and I feel like my free time stresses me out sometimes which is silly.
I’ve started reading which I’ve always loved but couldn’t find time for outside of academic reading. I’ve read 33 books in 4 months which I’m so proud of!! I joined a choir because I love singing with others. I’ve started a list of top movies of all time to widen my media taste (seriously haven’t seen a lot of classics) and I’ve started watching tv shows (have only watched 2 full series in my entire life...). I exercise and discovered how much I love cooking. I travel a lot.
Growing up my main hobby was music. I was in band, piano lessons, and lots of choirs. I also was an independent musician but it honestly felt draining. I feel creative enough to write my own music at random times. So this is where I’m struggling. I feel like lately I’ve just been CONSUMING but o want to CREATE more. I feel like there’s so much more I could be doing but my brain just doesn’t feel that spark. To note, I do have depression and anxiety pretty bad which eats up a ton of mental energy. Have been in therapy for a few years.
It’s probably my anxiety but lately I’ve just felt like I could be doing more. I feel like I don’t have that one “thing” that I truly love. I do love music but at times it feels like I have to force it. Any advice?
I don’t want to beat myself up over it but I feel like I’ve been lacking ambition but don’t know where to even begin.
Submitted July 07, 2018 at 12:17PM by __hrrr https://ift.tt/2m1Putm
