I'm back helping after he had a stroke on Monday which left him unable to speak. I noticed some mail addressed to me, which he quickly tried to hide when he realized it. There is atleast a $2,000 balance left on a loan from my undergrad over 10 years ago.
This was particularly upsetting because my college was completely paid for by an insurance settlement from a car accident i was in. With my permission (as an 18 year old), he used some of the cash to pay off higher interest loans and took out some student loans under my name.
A few years ago, I noticed some of the loans still weren't paid off despite what he promised. He sent me all this paperwork and explained that he paid them all off, which I've now discovered is a lie.
Both of my parents are already in a lot of debt and are both approaching 70 years old. There's no way he is going back to work. My mom works parttime. No retirement fund, and they refuse to declare bankruptcy.
My brother in law helped pay some bills and said they only have 3k in their savings. I saw over my dad's shoulder when he was on the computer that they are carrying a balance of 19k on one of their credit cards. I think they have atleast 3.
I feel sick because my dad isn't doing well so I didn't want to stress out about the loan, but the fact is that he lied to me. I told him I would just pay off the bill so they didn't have to worry about the extra expense, but at the same time, is that condoning the behavoir? He also refused the help indicating he's making the minimum payments on time.
How can I get him to be forthright about their finances so we can help them? My sister and I have helped pay for a number of things that have gone wrong in their house recently, and we're at a breaking point.
Any advice on this situation would be so appreciated. I've always trusted my father so this has been really hard to process for me.
Submitted April 09, 2017 at 03:41AM by YourCannibalQueen http://ift.tt/2odUe1g
