Made the payoff this morning. this will be close to 1500 a month additional cash flow that I can use for other things.
I really, really wish I felt a surge of happiness. Instead this just feels bittersweet. Looking back all I can think of is all of the missed opportunities I had to let pass by. All of the experiences I missed. Like 2 of my best friends' weddings (both married internationally and I couldn't afford the tickets to India and Japan). Studying abroad (was accepted into JET but couldn't afford the travel and the loan cost on the stipend). I'm thinking about the time that my payment left me nearly homeless, literally surviving on $25 a week and trying to make use of $5 free play vouchers from the local casino to get some extra food (2.50 on red and black, dear god please don't be green). I'm thinking about the irreparable wedge the debt drove between me and my family after my parents insisted I go to the school they chose, and then they refused to help pay the bills. I am thinking about days spent without eating either due to cash shortages or stress.
I thought this would feel better than it does. Instead I just feel pissed.
I think I'm going to buy myself a beer.
Feel free to AMA and I will chime in with what advice I can.
Submitted February 15, 2017 at 07:54AM by truemeliorist http://ift.tt/2lKwyBy
