I'm visiting my sister in Chicago right now. I offered to take care of making our meals while I'm here for the week. I planned out a few healthy low budget meals for the week and walked to the market to go pick up tonight's dinner supplies. On my way in, somebody asked me for cash. Normally I would give somebody my singles, but I didn't have any cash on me, so I asked her if she wanted some food and she said would like some bread and peanut butter. So she came into the store with me and I told I her I needed to pick up my ingredients for dinner, which totaled about $6. She asked if she could get some coffee as well and I of course said "sure" and to meet me at the front in 5 minutes to checkout.
I get to checkout and she has a basket full of food with a 48 oz Folgers in it. I hadn't agreed to this, but I also felt I couldn't turn her down. Her total bill came out to $40. It's not a big deal, it's $40 more than I was expecting to spend today, but this is a person that needs some extra help today, I can afford it, etc. She asks me to get cash back, and even if I wanted to at this point I can't because I'm using a credit card. At the end of the transaction I remind her to not forget her food and she says she's just going to keep it in the grocery store and that the store knows her and is cool with it. Alright.
That was the end of the interaction. I started wondering if maybe she was just going to return the food to the store or something. I feel like a piece of shit for having this thought even cross my mind and by being so bothered that I gave more than expected. This person needed help, I offered some, yes they took advantage of the situation but they may have needed to do so.
Giving support in one way or another has always been core to me, and this is the first time I feel bothered by the interaction. I have the means to help people, so I do, but right now I feel that it was too much. I'm just confused.
Do you have unspoken/spoken rules regarding how much you give if somebody asks? I think I might need to put a ceiling on what I believe to be acceptable, as in literally budget it into my spreadsheet. Thoughts?
May 13, 2021 at 05:14PM
