So for a bit of background, I'm a wedding photographer. Including weddings I've attended I've been to 40, maybe nearer 50 weddings. I've seen the best and the worst.
One of the things I've noticed is that there is really no correlation between cost spent and the "quality" or enjoyment of the wedding. The best wedding I ever shot was a 400+ person, fairly boujee wedding. The couple was amazing, though, incredibly genuine, and had great family. I teared up during their dance.
The second best wedding I shot was about 60 people. The bride had a hookup on a nice small venue that she and her sister decorated themselves with homemade centerpieces made from lavender and other less expensive plants, they rented speakers and hooked up a laptop with a spotify playlist their friends curated together, they got food catered and aunties made desserts. This wedding was a r/frugal pipe dream guys.
But it was awesome, because the bride and groom were so into it and genuine, they have great friends, they partied, and families were sweet.
So after being to so many weddings and seeing cookie cutter stuff, unique, cheap, expensive, my thoughts really are that regardless of what you spend, how big it is, what the venue looks like, the best weddings are between two people who care about each other and just want to celebrate one another and their family. That's it. Everything else is extra.
I realize I'm preaching to the choir on this sub, but who knows who needs to hear it.
More specifically, here are some things I think are and aren't worth it, assuming you've set a budget and are having a wedding-wedding.
Worth it:
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A decent photographer, if you want one at all. I realize phones are so good now and some people are cool with just asking family to take photos, but if you do want a photographer get someone solid. It doesn't have to be a $10,000 luxury photog who sends you a leather bound book, but if you're going to pay your 15 year old artist niece or nephew $200 to do it, just stick with the phones.
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Tailoring for a suit. You don't have to spend a lot nowadays to get a suit that fits. Assuming you're going traditional, spend enough to get a plain black suit that's tailored to you and fits well. Fit is so much more important than the materials themselves. Keeping it simple means you can wear that suit for any other occasion that requires it. Also, if you're buying more affordable shoes, consider an in-sole because you'll be standing all day.
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Gifts for your groomsmen/bridesmaids. They don't have to be anything fancy at all, but I do think it's really sweet and a nice start to the day. This is totally my personal opinion though.
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Good food. Again, you don't have to spend a ton (I've had people get food trucks for weddings, costs $20-40 a head and some of them are bomb). But low quality food can be a big damper on the day.
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Desserts in some form (homemade is great if you have the ability) and some fun late night food. Some pizzas or something late at a wedding while people are drunk dancing is always a hit.
Now, a few things that are less worth it if you're trying to stick to a budget, imo:
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A videographer. I promise I'm not biased here - high quality video work that you'll actually want to watch again can be so expensive, and how often will you really watch it vs wedding photos you can put up on a wall? If you really want some recordings, this is a good time to ask Uncle Darren to put his DSLR up on a tripod at the back of the venue during your ceremony. Your friends will probably take videos of the night festivities.
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Fancy dresses, shoes, suits. Everyone is different on this but the fit of your clothes, your smile, your compatibility matter so much more. No one will see your fancy shoes with a huge dress anyway.
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Open bar. A lot of people are doing toonie bars (I'm Canadian :) ) which I think is super cool. Charging $7 for a beer is super lame as if you're trying to make money, but $2 for a beer is just covering your cost so your wild cousin Tina doesn't dry up your bank account.
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Crazy decorations. It's such a short period of time, and people will be drunk before too long. Keep it classy and simple.
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A wedding planner shouldn't be necessary if you're keeping it small and are relatively organized.
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Crazy cakes. You're gonna chop it up. Towers of cupcakes or donuts are very common nowadays and are awesome. Get cheap toppers from a party store and you're in business.
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A DJ. They can get so pricey nowadays. Bands, imo, are worth it if they're in your budget because it's such a fun experience, but DJs less-so in my opinion. Find a trustworthy family member or two to emcee and load up a Spotify playlist with your friend. Speakers and DJ lights can be rented locally in most cities.
That's all I've got. This ran way longer than I anticipated but I hope someone can get some use out of it. Feel free to ask about any elements of the day you're wondering about, or what else may or may not be worth it. Also curious to hear others' opinions!
November 10, 2020 at 06:21PM
