I'm (F, 22) feeling kinda lost in my life now, and I don't feel like I can trust my thoughts because I clearly don't know what I want anymore. Let me explain briefly:
I grew up in France with a pretty decent life. My mom didn't work till I was in my teens and when she started, she worked halftime as a cleaning lady. My dad did all kind of jobs from worker to driver and he struggled sometimes to find something. He would be employed a few months every year and in my memories (even now) he's more time unemployed than employed.
The thing is my brothers and I had a really nice childhood. We never felt like something was missing. Sure we didn't have all the expensive things some of our friends had, but still, we loved buying second-hand (sometimes even were able to afford new) so we had Playstations, computers, phones, brand clothes etc. We even went on holidays every year because my parents were really really good at saving. The only thing is that my parents weren't able to afford me ballet classes hahaa but I survived.
All of this always made me believe that being rich wasn't necessary to be happy and content with life. But my parents coming from an immigration background wanted me to get a degree and a well-payed job (even today I have no idea what it means). I didn't have a problem with it at first, because I loved to study and went to law faculty with a scholarship. I earned my bachelor degree last year with honors. My parents and professors were happy, but I felt nothing. I was mentally and physically drained and I was only half way through my university education. I felt constantly stressed and for the first time in my life I started feeling unhappy and hating learning.
Two (contradictory) things I learned from these three years: – money was actually sometimes necessary to reach financial freedom, to stay healthy (doctors, eating healthy, etc) even if we have a good health-care system in France, or to pursue one's passions (dance or yoga classes are expensive, languages courses too). I guess my perception slightly changed on this matter because I started to hang out with well-off people (and lawyers can have quite a lavish lifestyle) and it influenced me negatively. – I hate law and I can't imagine myself working in this field or anything related to it.
I've been thinking about what to do now with my life since I failed my Master's exams (I had without surprise a huge burn out). I strongly believe that I want a simple life doing something meaningful that makes me content to a certain extend (the problem is what) with enough money to have a decent life. But my parents' words make me fear that I'm making a mistake and that pursuing a career in law will bring me financial freedom and security which on the long-term will allow me to perhaps have a happier and impactful life. I don't know it doesn't make any sense for me. Plus, I feel like seeing my parents have a nice life without working a lot influenced me.
What do you think? What can you advice me? I have to make a choice really soon and I don't know, I don't feel brave to make a choice right now.
Submitted May 07, 2020 at 09:42PM by preporodena https://ift.tt/2zjaE0g
