This post ended up being a story, so the TLDR is at the end along with my question to you all
I'm 28 years old and I have never had a positive balance in my personal bank account. I obtained credit at the early age of 18 and have had a negative balance since. Two weeks ago, that finally changed!
For my 16th birthday I received an incredibly generous gift of $7500 (CDN) from my grandfather. He told me to pick a company to invest it in and he would start a portfolio for me. The company I chose (at random, to be honest) to invest in was Apple. The adjusted price for Apple shares during the end of 2006 was approximately $14. They have split on multiple occasions over the years, but I essentially had what the equivalent of around 700 shares would be today. Over the years I kept reinvesting into Apple as it grew exponentially, and it resulted in having quite a large sum of money. I never had access to this money until three years ago. I will forever be in debt to his generosity as it has completely changed my life.
That three years ago I withdrew $30,000 to start a small, on-the-side photography business. I immediately bought all the gear and education I needed, and now I'm earning roughly 50 to 60,000 in additional income each year, on top of my salary at work ($60k). I started this venture around the same time I met my girlfriend and since then she has become my trusty companion/sidekick and has invested her own money and time into it. I formally agreed to her owning 30% of all future income that we essentially make together. ALL income from photography goes into a joint bank account, and I keep track of who owns what amount based on the 70/30 rule we established. The only reason we did this was in the event we split up one day, I would want her to withdraw what's rightfully hers. Otherwise, this money is for spending on things that we mutually benefit from
Recently we decided that we were ready to buy a home together. Our combined income is roughly $180,000 per year. We bought a house two weeks ago, we managed to put down a large sum of money and mortgage $300,000 together. At the time of closing we will still have around $30,000 between the two of us.
Here's where things got a little weird for me. I decided to create a savings goal for the next 12 months so we could have a general outlook of what the following year would look like for us financially. What started off as a simple spreadsheet turned into an absolutely chaotic (although organized) table of revenues, expenses, bank account and credit balances, etc. As I said, I have never had a positive balance in my personal bank account, and I'm worried that now that I have not only savings but significant assets and future revenue, that it's making me a little crazy. I'm always checking my online banking to make sure no recent payments or anything have come out of any of my accounts, because I would need to update my spreadsheet. I have 12 months of future income (confirmed and booked clients, not estimates) salary income, monthly expenses, etc. at all times. I honestly feel like I'm going insane sometimes; for example I did a small job recently where I earned around $1500 cash. I drove somewhat erratically to get to the bank in the mall before it closed, so I could deposit the cash and see it in my bank account.
Now, I'm so cautious about spending that I can't believe I'm the same person. Every purchase is carefully considered. I take less time in the shower, I leave lights off and I barely have the AC on. I realise this is just normal responsible human things to do but it's becoming obsessive.
TLDR: was a stupid kid growing up, incurred endless debt. Started a small business, earning roughly $120k/year including my 40hr/week salary at work. Finally had a positive balance, decided to start meticulously tracking expenses, and forecasting income/savings. I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm not sure if this is just a normal thing for me to feel based on my history of constant anxiety about debt and having no money in my bank account.
Is this normal for somebody that doesn't know what it's like to actually have savings? Have any of you experienced anything similar?
Submitted July 09, 2019 at 04:50PM by DamnYouExcel https://ift.tt/2XREcwx
