I have been working full time (for the first time) for the past three years, and saving aggressively. My mother and grandfather have passed in the past five years, and I’ve saved or invested any money I got from them. My lifestyle, like many people’s on this sub, focuses on not buying new or unnecessary stuff and living fairly simply. However, occasionally I will pay for something expensive. I bought a plane ticket around the world to my home country and am here for a couple of months on paid leave. I’m visiting loved ones and working on projects for the most part.
I’m curious what to do about certain types of people who assume that I “am in a better financial place” because I work more and am “on vacation”. My friend and I were going to a local festival and wanted me to cover her expenses in addition to mine, choose more expensive options, and generally “live it up”. She makes the assumption that I should pitch in more because I’m more employed than she is.
I don’t see the point in this. It’s not more enjoyable for me to choose these more expensive options. I’m trying to save money generally and keep expenses on this trip home. I’m not in control of how much she is able to work or chooses to work. It comes off as really weird to bring up someone else’s finances in a situation like choosing transportation or whatnot. I covered some of her costs when not prompted, and share what I can when it comes up organically. Working so much is a sacrifice of my time and freedom so that I can have stability. It’s not so that I can waste money on unnecessary choices.
I consider this basic frugality, but I think she interprets it as stinginess. I’m generous with my time and emotional energy, but I don’t think it’s my responsibility to compensate for my friend’s underemployment. How have you dealt with these situations before? Do you have advice for what to say if this type of thing comes up again? I don’t feel like I have to justify saving money as a concept, but maybe I do.
May 27, 2019 at 12:45PM
