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I'm 21 years old, currently in my 2nd corporate (HR) job. It's an international org with a competitive salary package and benefits. I know I ought to be thankful (and I truly was when I got hired), yet I ABSOLUTELY HATE every waking day that I have to go to work. It's seriously taking a toll on my mental health.

The most frustrating part is, the job isn't actually that bad. It's high-stress/high-pressure, yes, but I'm doing well enough to get a raise in just a few months. The people I work with are nice too and the bosses let us be. It's cushier than most jobs, which makes me really angry with myself because I feel like I'm just being ungrateful.

My first job was the same; a Fortune 500 company but after almost a year, I left because I couldn't take it anymore. Just thinking about the corporate culture, from handling thousands of employee requests and endless meetings to the watercooler small talks and butt-cramps from sitting all day, makes me vomit.

The only reason why I ended up in this exact situation however was that I got scared at the thought of wasting such good opportunity so I accepted the offer of my current employer.

Now I feel trapped and lost.

I acknowledge that I am quite privileged than most. I was an honour student all my life and even graduated with Latin honours from uni. Because of that, I feel like everyone has such high expectations of me. Even my professors and managers from previous work check up on me from time to time to see how I'm doing. I appreciate their "I always knew that you will be successful," and "You have potential," talk but all it does is give me anxiety just like how my family are very proud of how well they think I'm doing, especially my parents who always talk about my "achievements." I feel pressured to take the raise-and-promotion route because I want to keep them happy and going for a non-linear path would disappoint them (Asian problems).

The only thing that keeps me going everyday is the thought of living a simple life with a simple job that I like someday. Maybe I'll live in the countryside and start a goat dairy business which I've always been interested thanks to Primrose (and her goat) from the Hunger Games.

I honestly just want people to accept that I'm not who they think I am. I'm neither the ambitious student who always aces the exams nor the "Employee with the Highest Stats of the Month" anymore. And I'm tired of being the daughter whom my parents hype to friends and relatives.

Few years from now, I just hope to live a simple life with my future husband, 3 cats, 2 dogs and maybe a kid, in a small cabin in a provincial area where we can raise goats for our dairy business.

Although my current plan is to endure work for at least a year, go to grad school (I'll apply for a scholarship) so I'll have a reason to quit my job because I don't have the guts to admit to people that I resigned because I couldn't handle the stress of working in an office. I'll also probably take Saturday classes so I can freelance and work from home during the rest of the week (no to stressful 9 to 5's).

To Redditors out there who used to be conventionally "successful" but chose to live a relatively simplier life, can you please share your story? :)



Submitted May 02, 2019 at 01:43PM by NekoGoyangi http://bit.ly/2UWHGIH

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