Hi, so, uh...
I really didn't want to talk about this on a forum, but I have no one I can talk to in my personal life about what's going on. This is kinda long, so apologies.
I'm 19, turning 20 next week, and have a form of Autism known as Aspberger's Syndrome, Chronic Depression, and Anxiety, all doctor diagnosed (I'm extremely against self-diagnosis). Because of this, I was able to apply for SSI and finally got accepted in the middle of last year.
I get an SSI check on or just before the 1st of each month. I promised to give my parents a certain portion of it each month to put towards rent, bills, etc. and it was fine at first, giving them the agreed upon amount each time my check came. They'd get their portion, I'd put some in savings, keep the rest in checking, and at the end of the month (or whenever my next check came) I'd put whatever I didn't spend over the month into savings as well.
Then, we moved. It cost more than originally anticipated, and my parents convinced me to give them my whole paycheck to help that month, which I understood, so I agreed, especially since we'd moved from a (very) different state to live close to where I want to go to college. They didn't touch my savings though.
The next month was December, and they asked for more money than normal again, since we needed stuff for the new (rental) house, as we weren't able to bring our appliances from our previous house. What little I was able to keep, I spent on Christmas presents and food (I put some towards food every month already).
January comes, my dad helps me get something done. My dad's family calls, after who knows how many years now. We had a SERIOUS falling out with them when I was around 7 or 8, involving a knife, a gun, and physical violence that were all threatened to be used against my unarmed dad, with police being called, ending in a miraculously bloodshed and (mostly) injury free situation. So, they call and say my paternal grandpa (the one who brought out the gun in the falling out) is having health issues from a car accident, nothing really comes of it though, so we decide to not go. Then my uncle (my dad's younger brother) calls, says he hasn't had hot water in months, so he bought a new furnace?/water heater?/thing? but grandpa was supposed to help him install it, and couldn't due to the new medical issues. We go, get it installed, and come back. It cost us more than expected to do so, but it was over and we could make through the rest of the month, right? No, of course not. Next thing you know, my dad goes into the hospital. My mom can't afford gas to get to the hospital he was put in (they put him at a place over 2 hours away from our new house, which means a 4 hour round trip, and we only have a minivan, so lots of gas) along with paying bills and such, I give her the usual cut along with the rest of my check except for the money I need to pay for the service my dad helped me get. That's good, he gets out, my mom comes back with him, etc. and NOW we can make it through the month, right? NO! We need MORE MONEY! My parents need to make loan payments and pay for more stuff, so they guilt me into giving them all my savings.
This month comes. They still want their regular cut. They don't care if I used my usual part of my check to get the thing I'd been saving up for, for over half a year before they needed all my money, which I was going to use to keep me from having to use up all my money for the month I bought it. But after all the shit that kept happening, I didn't want to risk trying to save up again only to have it taken away again. I had a weird subscription issue that prevented me from giving them their usual cut, so it was smaller. They want the rest of what is in my bank to make up for not being able to give them the other half of this month's cut.
I managed to get the subscription issue sorted out, and have my money back from that. I really don't want to give it to them, even though they're convinced I owe them despite all the extra money I've given them because of this. The thing is, they don't know I got it sorted out. I don't want to tell them, but I don't want to feel guilty for NOT telling them.
I want the money for myself this time. Just this once. I don't want my parents to take my money again. They've said themselves that I'm better with money than they've ever been, and I'm pretty sure they keep wanting my money to pay off their debts, but I wanna save up so I can have at least SOME cushion for college tuition...I don't know, is that selfish? I don't want to be selfish...But even with money I got in the past as gifts for birthdays and stuff, a lot of times they'd take and use it, and I was supposed to be ok with that. They'd always hold buying toys and food while growing up over my head as justification for taking the money. I feel selfish and dirty for saying it, but I want some of my money for myself...
Submitted February 14, 2019 at 07:40PM by TheQuietMelody http://bit.ly/2BMumjt
