Hello, I've come to you all for guidance. There's a bit of a story that's gotten my wife and I up to this point, but I can honestly say that were are both really in love with each other and believe that we'll get out of this hole one way or another.
To begin, I myself am a 1099 contractor and have been fluctuating in my work income for a few years now. Between 80k and 110k. My wife works at a medical office and bring in another 30k (w2). We have no children nor do we plan to change that in the future.
A lot of the issues we are facing are blatant lack of control in purchasing, while I am the bigger bread winner, I am tasked with staying on top of our expenses (self appointed). I don't have many credit cards, only about 3 now. Home Depot 0 balance, chase 2,500 and another Chase card around 300-800 monthly balance on it.
Aside from that, we have a mobile home we pulled out a loan for 67k and needed to utilize a 25k line of credit to complete the site work (built on our lot). Also, we have a sweet deal on rent of a loft closer to the country than the city for 650 a month.
Car payment for my wife's vehicle is currently at 20k remaining balance and a 3 acre lot we also purchased is around 28k remaining balance.
Now I know I spit that out of any specific order, but there's a chronological order to this I'll explain here shortly.
Some quick math Rent : 650 House : 650 Utilities (rental) : 200 Car : 400 Lot : 250 Line of credit : 450 Credit card : 91k a year (I use it a lot)
Ok, so this is how we got here. My wife is a little older than me, she's had a bit of a rough life and has been mostly single, which has made her very guarded and self reliant, to a bit of a fault. While her personality is a lovely one to whomever she meets, the second she feels the slight inconvenience that comes with life she can get down right irritable and regress into her survivor instinct. Whether the solution is to flare up and exaggerate the situation, or shrug and not say a word, but to her credit she has an ability to get over the flare up quickly and come around to having an open mind. I myself am more reserved on my judgement when something isn't going our way, I wait to think about it before I say something, but there are occasions where I let it out and can be just as argumentative as her. Regardless, I see past this, and I love her completely.
Which bring me to my point. My wife has ideas. Lots of ideas. We don't have children, this is the first time we are married and I feel the overwhelming need to make her dreams come true. She had the idea of purchasing additional property (she had a few small lots before we met). She calls me one day after going out for a walk with an old friend of hers, and she tells me in the sweetest way what we would be able to live on if we made this purchase. That same day (having no real debt) I told her yes. We made the call, then a few days later I paid 10k down on a 40k 3 acre property. Thinking 250 is a small amount to pay monthly and it is really a great space. Anyway, fast forward a few months, we take our honeymoon vacation we could not take because of our work schedules when we married. 5k down. It was a great time but I was not used to spending so much so quickly. (Before we met I was making about $800 a week so what I had saved up was a cushion which we blew through pretty quick). That same time a friend of hers had passed a while back, she mentioned to me that his sister wanted to release his ashes where he was going to go and live the rest of his days before he passed. The problem was that she could not afford to go. So... My wife felt like she wanted to make this happen as a token of appreciation to her dear friend and his sister. I was on board because I didn't see it as something for us rather for them. 3k (including airfare and hotel). Shortly after this I was involved in an accident and my paid for Honda was totaled. Complete Loss as I did not have full coverage on a 10 year old car. I made the mistake a young man that is making a bit more money than previously. I got myself into a mercedes diesel car for my long work drives. The car is great but maintenance is killing me at around 40k miles a year (6k a year including service fuel, the car is paid for). My wife mentions she always wanted a nice convertible, I end up taking her around to see some used cars and we end up getting a reliable Lexus convertible. 25k. At this point I start feeling the pinch a bit more than before but I want to make her happy, I felt a bit selfish driving what I was driving and her having something less fancy. I felt good getting it for her. A few more months pass, this sister of her late friend is getting her butt handed to her by life. She's 70+ years old and has 2 work 2 jobs to pay $1300 a month rent on a one bedroom 1 bath apartment. My wife has the idea that we could have a reliable renter and we could help lower her rent by purchasing a mobile home and have her live in it. Again, mistakes were made, I said yes (not immediately though). This is where it gets bad. We purchased a home and paid to get the lot developed in 2 months before they kicked her out of her apartment (we took a line of credit 25k). This past year with her (renter) has been a nightmare, so many complaints about the neighbors or weeds on the lot etc. Like I didn't really think we had to service her like that you know? Anyway, fast forward to recently. She finally gets up an leaves on the 31st of October so now we don't have rental income and the property is an hour plus from where I work. We are in debt up to our eyeballs and I need to figure out the best way to get out of this. Consolidate debt? Refinance the home? To top it off I got off the phone with Chase and apparently we spent 91k last year on that card.
Clearly we need to cut the spending. Between groceries and fuel and daily expenses my credit card is revolving with debt.
To be perfectly clear, I am as equally to blame for this as my wife because rather than knowing my limits I wanted to live a life style that was above my means. This is all within a 3 year span. I have talked to my wife about this and while she understands what I am saying, having the pressure of coming up with all that money and paying the IRS their ridiculous amounts (sent them 8k last 2 months) I just can't get her to understand without causing a huge fight. She feels terrible that she caused me all this grief or burden, but I tell her to not worry about that, even though inside it's killing me to be in this much over my head. I just need a plan. One that I can show her the numbers on and just keep grinding and paying it off. I wish it was just one solid number then I could just work on it instead of using credit cards to stay afloat.
If you read this far, thank you. I really have no where else to vent about this.
Submitted November 05, 2018 at 01:28AM by made-some-mistakes https://ift.tt/2JDIJZW
