Hi PF
Apologies in advance for this incoming wall of text.
My parents are in a bad place and I'm trying to help get them to the best spot that I can, but a lot of bad things have led us to where we are now.
I hadn't been speaking with my parents for a number of years as we just didn't see eye to eye. They ultimately broke off contact and I decided it was best for me to just let it go when they wouldn't reconnect. My mom had a stroke and my father has a whole host of diseases endemic to someone in their 70's who has been overweight and smoked his whole life.
Last year (2017), my sibling was named their power of attorney, sold their house, cleared out their retirement, and moved them to another state. After a period of time, they came back to where they had been living, which is near me. Early in 2018, I got a text from mom begging me for help because neither of them were physically capable of leaving their apartment to get mail or groceries. I, for better or worse, decided to help, and since then have been up to my eyes in their mess. I ended up helping them get medical assistance and they were evaluated and needed to move to an assisted living facility, and my dad was in the hospital for a few weeks and will need rehab. They've given him 6-12 months to live. Mom needs daily assistance with things like baths, medication, and getting around. She'll never be able to live on her own.
Long story short, using the power of attorney, my sibling took all their money from the house sale and retirement without my parents knowledge. As far as they knew, they approved some charges for medical bills and food, but otherwise were never told how much money was even taken from their accounts, much less what it was spent on. Parents moved back here away from sibling (they had to sneak away in while sibling was at work because they were otherwise locked in a room 24/7) when they learned that sibling was selling their house. They tried to stop the sale going through, but it had already closed. Sibling blew over 100k in less than 3 months. We've spoken with the police and district attorney here and the criminal part of this saga is being handled. We don't know if we'll ever see any of the money again.
I figured out they needed help with taxes, amongst other things. I started learning about their financial situation which led to the revelations above, and I found out what a mess they're in. I've been named their power of attorney and I'm trying to figure out what is the best of many bad options I have identified. They have no income besides SS, and that covers the assisted living facility with maybe a couple hundred dollars leftover. They have a ton of debt:
- Dad - approx 10,000 credit cards
- Dad - At least 4,000 in medical copays and more coming. Some already in collections.
- Mom - approx 3,000 credit cards
- Mom - approx 1,000 already at collections for various debts that went unpaid when they moved (sat tv is the main one)
- Mom/Both - Approx 8,000 in federal and state taxes on cashing out of her retirement
- Both - 3,000 for breaking lease at their previous apartment
Their ONLY asset is a car worth about 15,000 that they own outright. Literally they have nothing else, their checking accounts float around $500 each. They've been making minimum payments on their debts and they're about -200 every month.
What I've been doing: Their credit is already trashed, and they'll be in an assisted living facility for the rest of their lives. I've cancelled auto-payments on all their debts and am closing all credit accounts. Top priority is paying for their assisted living facility and current medical needs and services.
I intend on selling the car to pay Mom's taxes. That leaves about 7k from the car, and an extra 100/mo cashflow from the car insurance.
I'm considering a few things:
1) Pay off mom's debts. Call the apartment and explain to them that there is no way they will ever have the money to pay them for breaking the lease, and offer to settle for some fraction to make it go away. Try to keep as much of the proceeds from the sale of the car around for a rainy day.
Ignore Dad's debt, let it die with him. He's got so much and there's literally no way they will ever have anywhere near that much money unless we recover money from the sibling.
2) File for bankruptcy. I still need to sell the car and pay the taxes, I think. I don't know if they'd have any hope of keeping the rest of the sale of the car or not. I don't think their SS could be garnished, could it?
3) Let every one of their current debts go to 90 or 120 days and then offer to pay a fraction and have them write it off rather than send to collections. I don't know if they would have enough money to cover this approach, or if the credit card companies would even be interested.
Other options I've overlooked? Advice, input, anything you have, Reddit - let me have it. This situation sucks and I'm just trying to get through it and put them in the place that will best ensure they don't end up homeless.
TL;DR: My sibling robbed my sick, dying parents. They have no money and a ton of debt they will never be able to pay. Trying to help them not end up in court for collections. What to do?
Submitted March 17, 2018 at 03:47AM by youhadtoseethiscomin http://ift.tt/2pocZOX
