This is embarrassing and I honestly don’t know where to go without getting “really?” looks.
Ever since high school I’ve been in school. My parents had always pushed medical school on me so I have made it my life’s goal to do it. I couldn’t get in after undergrad so I went to grad school and then applied. Throughout all of this my parents have been 100% financially supporting me as to them it was an investment in their grandchildren (which is crazy but that’s our culture? I don’t have kids or even in a relationship)
I am in my second year of medical school and I have realized that being here has done nothing but break down the person I used to be. I have been put on medication because I have developed severe depression and anxiety, I spend most of my days alone, and I’m barely passing my classes. Last week I had a panic attack twice everyday because I had failed an exam.
Yesterday my petition for instate tuition was denied. My mother now has threatened if I can’t get it fixed that I’ll have to pay the balance for the out of state tuition. This requires getting character statements and I haven’t met anyone here because I’ve been too depressed to leave my apartment.
And with that, I’m done. I’m not going to pay for this misery. I’ve realized my entire life has been nothing but manipulation and I just want to stop and become my own adult. I have nothing in my name and only a savings account which my mom also has access to. I don’t know how to cut off from my family without being absolutely homeless and I want to know what steps I need to take to become an adult. I’m so scared but I’m scared what would happen if I stayed in school in the condition that I am in. I have my bachelors and masters, and it’s only taken me recently to realize that I could actually find a job but until I get that job, I don’t know what to do. Ive had the mind of a child until now, where my parents had taken care of everything and while I’m grateful, I just cant do this anymore.
Submitted February 24, 2018 at 07:59AM by CalvinHeinz http://ift.tt/2CFXFSk
