Last Tuesday, I did something irresponsible for the sake of my mental health and quit a job where I was miserable, without another job lined up. As the sole income provider this was a huge gamble, but I had an interview on Friday that I was feeling really confident about.
I should pause here to note two things: 1) I'm a codependent, and avoid conflict like the plague. 2) I am this way because of my childhood, being raised by my narcissistic mother. My former boss was exactly like her, hence why I left.
So, I killed the interview on Friday. Met the two attorneys I would be working for. They are amazing and offered me a job at the end, but said that they would need the senior partner's approval first, so to wait for his call.
I got the call this morning. We went back and forth a little bit. My starting point was $X, he wanted to offer X-$7k. He noted that health insurance is 100% employer-contributed, and not only was I getting 2 more weeks of PTO than my last employer, but I would get PTO on my bday (this is actually an awesome perk because mine almost always falls around a federal holiday, which means the potential for a paid 4-day weekend).
I said meet me at X-5k, so he said he'd do X-7 but cut me a personal check each month for gas allowance. When I incorporated that in, I was almost sold. My husband told me to ask for an additional $50. What's the worst he can say, No?
Well, codependent me was terrified to ruffle the feathers. But I thought, although beggars can't be choosers, I'd potentially miss out on an extra $600 a year for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings.
So I asked. And he actually said that he was taken aback, and felt like I was nickel and diming him! But you know what? I stuck with it. I said, "Yes, well, I am very eager to start, so if you can meet me there, I can start tomorrow." He said he had to get back to me.
And wouldn't you know, he did. I got that extra allowance. I stuck to my guns. I put conflict aside to make sure he knew right off the bat that I know what I am worth. And it felt amazing.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And let me also just add that it feels really good knowing you're earning a salary you can support a family on, and that you made it happen by being assertive. It's just a huge weight off my shoulders, that I won't have to worry about whether I can pay all the bills on time.
Submitted January 22, 2018 at 10:57PM by spaceisroomy http://ift.tt/2n1p6B2
