My mom makes approximately $40k per year. My grandma no longer works. Uncle lives in the same house and makes around the same as my mom, so I'm estimating combined household income is around $80k. I think they keep pulling money out of the equity to 'live large' because they don't perceive any hope for the situation.
Grandma "loaned" (in good will but with no contract) over $150k to my aunt, and I don't believe she makes enough money to pay that back. Aunt's house is wrecked. 2 of her 3 'boys' (24 - 29) don't work.
My mom and dad (69) are separated but still married. My dad totaled his van a few months ago and was charged with DUI #2, now living in sober living and scored a handyman/carpet cleaning position with the recovery organization in exchange for housing and pay.
Family unit across the board is fairly dysfunctional; it's never been functional as far back as I can remember, but things are starting to get better. Everyone has grown up quite a bit, but there's no one in the family that's trying to 'turn over a new leaf' or whatever, and I (24) am barely starting to establish myself in the educational field. My mom can barely stand being in the house with my uncle and grandma because of prevalent addictions, and I feel pretty much out of place while I'm here for the holidays.
I'm getting a vibe that people are using my grandma for the equity still in the house, she's getting old in age, and I'm getting the feeling that when she dies the whole family is gonna implode via the house.
Rent where we live (OC) is $1k - $2k per month for a single room, so I think saving the house is the last, best chance that my mom has to live and share ownership of a place until I'm pulling in decent income. I think rent is essentially burning money just to live in a place and I feel stuck because it's gonna be difficult for my family to get anywhere when over half our monthly income goes straight to rent alone.
I know how to navigate food stamps and other social services out there; I think my mom and dad have avoided applying for affordable housing and food stamps out of pride, to their own detriment.
I feel like this is a big conversation because of the complexity. I'm looking after myself first and foremost. I'm going into the educational field; I'm currently doing an internship out-of-county until June 2018. I don't have any student loan debt and my credit is great.
I understand almost none of this is my responsibility and I should not take the burdens from my family's mistakes upon myself. I do recognize the dire straits we are in, I'm trying to figure out my role, how I can best advise my mom moving forward, and what we [I] can or should do.
Submitted December 28, 2017 at 09:55AM by theecozoic http://ift.tt/2loUmZc
