I don't even know where to start. I can barely breathe. I keep trying to fix things and everything keeps getting worse to the point where I really don't particularly even care about being alive any more...but I have two little ones that need me. I just don't know what to do at this point and I'm tired of crying all day every day and the panic attacks.
I'm 26, I'm a single parent. Currently I own a retail boutique and am finishing my degree in biology. I wanted to be a pediatrician originally but that's currently out of the running both financially, emotionally, time-wise, and just about everything else. I just took half of my finals for this semester (the rest on Thursday) and then I have one semester left (graduation would be in May). I am paying for this final year of college with student loans (with the possibility that my parents will reimburse me when I get my diploma).
The problem is, that through bad business and personal decisions made while I was extremely manic (before I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder this year), I have acquired about $48,000 in debt. I managed to pay down about $5000 of that (purely credit card debt) over the summer - leaving me with $43,000. That number is so astronomically huge I don't even know where to start. My credit is bad, approximately 520, even though I've paid off all majority of the medical bills that were listed on it in 2015 - they're all marked as settled for less than full amount. I have one credit card now, with a $1500 limit, that is utilized and completely paid off by the due date, but it's only 2 months old. All other credit cards have been paid off. My student loans are deferred but currently total $5500. Derogatory marks on my credit are listed as age of accounts, number of accounts, accounts settled for less than full balance, and a lien that has been paid off (ex-husband intentionally didn't pay the taxes on the house so I would be liable as well - deed was in both of our names but mortgage was in his name only, and we had moved 6 hours away so I wasn't notified of the lien until it showed up on my credit. It's been released and I've attempted to submit the release to have it taken off, but it's still there.)
Breakdown: $32,000 to a contractor - have already paid him $20,000 of the original $52,000, have been served with papers demanding payment of the remainder. $8,000 - Title Loan taken out at the insistence of the contractor to "tide him over" until I could get a loan for the full amount I owed him, which hasn't happened due to my credit score. $3,000 - Medical bills from an abuse incident in April, the hospital forgave all of my abuser's medical bills but said I made too much for mine to be forgiven, even though he was formally charged and tried and is supposed to pay them...he hasn't. One just showed up on my credit this morning...plummeting my score 51 points.
All of this wouldn't be so bad if I had any positive income coming in..but currently I'm barely breaking even with the bills as it is with the income from working at the store. I haven't paid November's rent yet, and now December's is due today. ($1000 each month). This is after I downsized our housing into the cheapest available space in our area, traded in my car for one without payments, canceled the babysitter and bring my youngest to work, and took my oldest out of private school. The store was originally making ~$20,000 a month before expenses (net profit ~$6k), my then-fiance was making ~$40k a year, and I had child support ($850/month) and royalties ($300/month). Now the store is making ~$3-4k a month, no secondary income, child support has been cut to $650/month, and royalties (oil/gas) have gone down to about $130/month. I'm desperately looking for a second job that's flexible enough for me to still be able to pick up my oldest from school as she's not old enough to be home alone and to either keep my youngest with me or pay someone to watch her. It just seems like an all around impossible situation to climb out of, and I don't know what to do. I've tried making plans and discussing them with my parents and structuring repayment plans, etc...but all of that hinges on them agreeing to be cosignors - which they refuse to do. They've been telling me to just file bankruptcy and get it over with, but I also don't want to lose everything I've built up...as little as it is. I just don't know what to do or where to turn.
Submitted December 05, 2017 at 06:06PM by minimommy2 http://ift.tt/2BBTyGA
