Since a very early age I have been ingrained by this idea: First work, then pleasure. You work, so you can enjoy your leisure time. You work and then you do, what you really want to do. You brush your teeth, you wash your face you eat your dinner and then you do, what you really love.
For the last few months I have been trying to establish a routine that satisfies me and in the last two weeks, I succeeded. I get up early, do strength and Yoga exercises, work, meditate and then I am finished at 5 p.m. or so. After that, free time.
In the last few months, psychologically speaking, I didn't feel like I have any leisure time. I was not satisfied with my day and I could never turn off.
Since I established my routine, something very interesting and unexpected happened, though: I finally have "free time". I have earned it now, it's okay to do all the things I really want to do. I didn't realize before how deeply embedded this idea was. The idea, that basically 90% of the things life consists off, like body hygiene, eating, work, exercises, sleep etc. are primarily there to enable me to "do what I really want".
I might not have said that rationally, if somebody asked me, but it was still a powerful belief that guided my perception of reality.
(Like sure, I would have said that the meaning of life lies in loving relationships and meaningful work. But that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the perception of my daily reality and routine.)
So now, when my days are over and I have free time, I realize that there is really nothing spectacular left - and that's okay, that's great! Of course, there might be a movie I want to watch or bigger projects like travelling. That's good and a fine part of life. But what life is, is the small (and not so small) things: Eating, cooking, reading, learning, working, cleaning the house, doing exercises, talking to friends etc.
So what is different once I saw through that false belief, the "free time fallacy"? The difference is, that when I live now, I don't subordinate the things I do to a different cause. I don't wait or hope for the "work day" to end. Cooking is life, eating is life, cleaning the windows is life. This is my simple being. I don't need more than that.
Submitted October 20, 2017 at 02:11AM by unnecessarylongname http://ift.tt/2zCK9OL
