Hello everyone.
I'm a 23 year old college student. I'm posting this here because, really, I'm asking how I can best prepare my finances for the future, or acquire finances as fast as possible to help me now and in the future.
4 years ago I was in a very bad car accident. I went through a red light in very dense fog, t-boned a F-150, and then I got struck on my drivers side by a semi hauling lumber.
While at the time I was thankful for the little damage that seemed to be done to me, (I had my feet crushed, a rib broken, my clavicle broken on my left side, and minor brain bleeding) it's starting to catch up to me rather quickly.
My feet ache every day. I've recently been diagnosed with some mild scoliosis, but it's in my thoracic spine, which I'm told is very rare. It aches, cracks, and tightens up throughout the day, and waking up is the worst part of my day because after I sleep, it's tightened and I have to spin and crack my entire spine to take away the pain.
I feel like I'm living in hell. I'm working out more recently and it's helping to strengthen my back muscles, but I'm not quite there yet and it's still fairly bad. I'm told it likely won't go away forever, and as I get older my feet and my back will only get worse. I get headaches stemming from my back/neck at least twice a week.
I'm about 20k into school debt right now. I don't like college, I don't know what I want to do, and I feel like I'm throwing away the healthiest part of my life to live a life I don't want. Some boring desk job, in pain all the time, just working to keep myself alive rather than really LIVE my life.
I don't have any money saved. PT, hospital bills, rent, etc, destroyed my $3000 savings I had this year. I've never been good with money but after my savings got destroyed, I lost all hope for saving money. I don't really make enough (15k a year) to pay off loans, pay rent, pay for gas, my phone, hobbies, groceries and then also seek help for my pain.
I've smoked weed since I was about 17 and now it looks like I need to quit for good in order to save more money... but I have extremely vivid nightmares, ever since I was a child, that are at best uncomfortable; and at worst, they terrify me as it's usually something to do with me being killed or chased or face-to-face with some sort of monster. The weed helps me sleep, kills the pain and anxiety, and suppresses my dreams.
I tend to have sleep paralysis and nightmares when I quit smoking.
So I guess I just don't know what to do, or what sort of financial help is out there for me. I'm struggling to keep myself together and have hope for the future, but I've been in a struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, and previous cutting behaviors. The daily pain, the debt, and my depression/anxiety are destroying my will to live.
If I work my life away while I'm young... I'll have money when I'm older, but will suffer from bad arthritis from my spine and feet, and likely won't be able to enjoy my life.
I can barely stand the pain I'm going through. I can't stand the stress of being forced to go to work to stay alive, while in pain. It's a struggle to even get up and go to work every day. I think about suicide often.
What do I do? How can I help myself now, and how can I make sure I can be as healthy, happy, and well off as possible starting today?
Submitted October 04, 2017 at 04:26AM by broken_please_help http://ift.tt/2yWZJEQ
