Short story long
I blew through roughly 65k+ from 18-25 and have been spending every working minute of this year towards redeeming myself and getting back to zero. The year is almost over, and I'm not sure how I am going to end up on top of my financial demons.
I am not asking for pity, but honest guidance.
Summary:
19- Had 3 kids with no money (Twins and Another with 2 Moms)
18-20- Attempted to go to college
20- Joined the Army Reserves
21- Both of my Parents passed away in an accident (I recieved 30k of an inheritance)
21-23- Went to Culinary School in Chicago (30k in student loans total)
23- Moved back home and worked for a car dealership, did extremely well and made roughly 35k in 7 months.
23-24-
Quit sales (idiot) traveled, partied, blew the cash by not working full time since I wanted to see the world and choose when I worked (pt bartender) my credit score went from 760 to 515 and my car was on the verge of being repossessed.
I gained a lot of "instagram experiences" without the means to afford it assuming I'd figure something out eventually.
24- One of the most miserable years of my life, and best at the same time for "waking up" and taking care of my family. Construction during the day, Bartender at night, still needed my sister to run bags of coins to the bank for me to avoid overdrafting my account. I probably had 15 overdrafts last year despite working two jobs trying to make ends meet.
Jan 2017 (25)-
The day my phone got shut off, I got a job with a Bank as a Loan Officer, and am almost a complete 180 from last year. It has completely saved my life. I Haven't overdrafted once, and I have health insurance! I have focused this entire year solely on my family and Debt consolidation and spending. That being said I am trying to slay the last 7 years of irresponsibility and I am losing mentally.
I am halfway from paying off a 15k consolidation loan I took out at the beginning of the spring ($15,000, 12 month, 4%APR, $1300 a month payments.) And a total amount of debt is just under $12,000 left until I am at "$0". Credit score is 670.
Today -
The loan should be paid off one month early on my 26th birthday next February. That being said, I don't feel any sense of ease in my life. I have busted my ass working 65+ hour weeks all year, working Fulltime and any other job that will put cash in my hand (bouncer, serving, construction, selling everything but drugs or my body for side cash) I have no assets, and if I don't work, I'm not getting income (outside of working while on PTO).
I stay in my house because every time I leave that door it costs money. I net about 2800-3800 a month, with the consolidation loan taking nearly half my income. After expenses I have roughly $100-$400 (depending on side gigs) dollars a month that I have available to spend.
My left nostril is about the only thing not underwater right now month to month but I am on top of my bills and my family is taken care of.
I am expecting to make 47k this year gross and under 40k net
The dream of 2018
If I continue without anything going wrong the next 5 months, the consolidation loan will be paid off. I will have completed my contract with the Army reserves (which paid off all but 5k of my student loans) my car should be paid off, and I should have 2k in my HSA. That being said, I am nervous because that means 5 months of absolutely nothing going wrong. In all regards, I'm not in a bad position right now relative to circumstances, but I'm one $500 miscellaneous expense away from being right back under.
My Complaints
I have no breathing room, no emergency fund, and am still pay check to paycheck essentially. I am finally breaking down realizing that I've put in all this effort trying to climb the mountain and I haven't even reached base camp yet.
By my birthday next year, I want to go on the offense and still work as just hard, and once the consolidation loan is gone, more of my income should free up to work on savings. I look at my budget and bank account 3+ times daily and know where every penny goes every second of every day. There isn't much more fat I can trim from my current bills. If I go out to the bars (2x a months tops) I leave my debit card at home and bring a flask. I haven't bought new clothes all year besides socks. I don't eat out and cook lunch for the week on Sundays. I've crunched the numbers a hundred times, my money in vs. money out just isn't cutting it
That being said, none of this is anyone's fault but my own. I am fully understanding of how 30k sounds like a lot of money to inherit and piss away but broken down over the course of 4 years is only 150 dollars extra spending a week (which on the inverse, sounds nice savings wise) I did honest and truly blow it. I put my wants in front of reality and the fact that I had mouths to feed and bills to pay yet still wanting to see the world and not owning up to it. I am proud of what I've accomplished this year but at the same time upset that I feel like the year is already almost over and I've hardly made a dent.
WHAT I'M ASKING R/Personalfinance tl;dr
I know I can refinance the loan and have lower payments. I look at interest every day and don't want to make someone else rich. I want to get it done and move on with my life and the feeling of financial freedom. I am motivated and achieve any goal I set my mind too. That being said, I am asking anyone willing to listen advice before I make another potentially life changing decision. I can stay the course with the bank and have an essentially set income expectations for 2018, or I have the potential to work as a Employment Agency as a commission based sales job that pays 30% per placement.
In regards to life in general, would you suggest I stay the course and earn slowly and safely, or work just as hard in a more aggressive environment? I have went through several interviews and know several employees with the Agency and have been offered a position, the money is there, you have to grind for it, but it is a very lucrative based position. I had initially had hoped to be able to work both jobs with recruiting full time and banking on nights and weekends. My current bank and the agency thought I was nuts but allowed it, until HR with the bank established it is a major conflict of interest and I was not allowed to do so. Both Parties are very aware of my situation and understand my goals.
I am literally losing sleep at the idea of known income vs the unknown potential (my friend that works there has made 55k and showed me the paystub to prove it with a whole quarter of a year left to go, top sales are bringing home six figures.) The bank will also allow me to return on good terms if I decide to leave my position. They have treated me extremely well, and I want to better my life while still respecting all that they've done for me.
I mean I fully telling strangers on the internet about the stress I'm going through. I am going to make it by any means necessary, I just need someone to help me through the last 3 months of mental gymnastics I've been contemplating.
If you have read this and replied, thank you so much for your time and consideration
Submitted September 09, 2017 at 07:59AM by Ibelieveitsbutter http://ift.tt/2wP65I4
