Mom in UK has dementia, I'm the sole relative (son) living in the US. She's been moved into a care home. I have no clue what to do.
I need advice.
My Mom has dementia; she's 87. She has just been moved into a care home as she can no longer look after herself. She lives in the UK, I live in the US and am now a US citizen. I can afford to go see her once. I have no siblings and none of the more extended family are close or have talked in years. She's now not remembering anything that has gone on in the last hour. She thinks my Dad's living with another woman; he's been dead over ten years. She thinks the care home is a hotel that she's working at. She's worried that she won't have a job. We talk on the phone but it's... not easy. She wants me to help plot her escape.
She recently went into hospital for a UTI. Social services that have been working with us made a best interests decision that she couldn't go home, hence the care home.
My wife and I have taken family leave from work and are heading back over to the UK. I have a solicitor and we're making an application to the Court of Protection to become deputies for affairs and finances. That's taking too long.
We have three weeks in the UK to get everything organized. Because of work and family in the US the trip has to be now and not later. I have a plan but... I just don't know what the heck I'm doing. She needs personal stuff from the home, something needs to be done with the contents of the home and the home needs to be sold. This needs to be done to get Mom the funds to cover living in the care home for as many years as we can manage.
The plan:
- Go home and check it's not burned down. Try to get the water/electric/gas back on as I'm sure bills weren't paid. Clean out the food that was getting hoarded; we were buying her groceries online.
- Take her some personal items to brighten her room. I don't want her going home as that would undo the step of getting her into the care home.
- Clean the garden. It's a mess with many years of overgrowth. No way the property sells in the current condition.
- Organize the home contents into keepsakes, to-be-sold, and to-be-given-away/recycled.
- Put the keepsakes into storage.
- Have an 'auction house' (or whatever it is) come in to take care of the to-be-sold. Who/where/estimated costs?
- Have a house clearance company come in to clear the remainder. Who/where/estimated costs?
- Put the house on the market... how do you maximize quick sale and reasonable price?
- Take the cash proceeds and put enough for one year into Mom's bank account to take care of debts (no clue here).
- Put the remainder into an account (no clue) to earn some interest to supplement her pension and maximize time we can pay for care home.
- Roll up into the fetal position and blubber like a baby.
How much af a grey area are we in that she's clearly not capable of making decisions but the Court of Protection order isn't there yet? What am I missing?
Thanks for any advice.
Submitted June 03, 2017 at 09:22PM by InnocuousShade http://ift.tt/2sCjrS7
