Hey all!
So I'm totally out of ideas on how to help my partner be more responsible with finances. This isn't a situation of him not wanting to improve or not caring enough to try. He doesn't have a problem with going out to eat too much, or needing fancy clothes, or waste it on an unnecessary car. He keeps his expenses low by himself and I helped him set up a savings account taking a small amount from every paycheck to keep to the side for emergencies and bigger items that need to be paid for from time to time in life. He's been so proud of his progress, bragging to others about it (old friends who knew he used to blow every paycheck as soon as it came in during his younger years.)
The problem is, unspent "excess" money is somehow almost painful for him. He just is going mad with a drive to use money that isn't specifically allocated for a current expense. That savings account he was so proud of? Half gone today suddenly, because he couldn't ignore the need to spend it. (Random crap in an online game.) He completly broke down into tears once he realized what he'd done and came to me so discouraged and ashamed, begging me not to give up on helping him etc. I'm just... I don't get it. I don't understand the concept of money burning a hole in someone's pocket. I'm not shaming him into trying to be more frugal, or angry with him for this I just don't know how to help because I can't understand.
So I'm hoping there's someone here who used to be in my partners shoes who was able to gain control of their compulsion to spend. Or anyone who understands the psychology behind it. I'm desperate for insight here! All I can think to say is "stop spending money" but that's like telling a depressed person to just stop being sad.
TL;DR Partner has compulsive spending issues, is trying hard to get better and asking me for help, but I'm the exact opposite and have never experienced the issue and don't know what to suggest.
May 02, 2017 at 11:58PM
