So there's nothing really frugal about modern American weddings. There are thousands of different companies out there whose entire business model is set up on overcharging you for wedding stuff. A huge one of those is of course the ring. There was a time when diamonds were considered worthless and wedding rings did not cost two month's salary. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way.
First, your future spouse is probably the single most important factor. As an avid reader of the Frugal sub, I'm going to hope that your spouse shares a similar view of money to you: that is, that it should be saved as much as reasonably possible and if it does get spent it should be on non-frivolous things that maximize the value you get from spending your money. Since you get money by working, money is essentially what you get in exchange for your time. And time is nothing more than pieces of your life. When you spend money, you are literally giving away pieces of your life, so make sure you only do it on things that are worth it. If your spouse is the sort of who wants to jump full bore into a massive, lavish wedding neither of you really have the money for, you should probably think about why you're marrying someone so philosophically different from you. Money issues are the number one cause of friction in relationships. My fiancee was really reasonable about what we should spend on a ring and also not only was okay with getting a much cheaper stone called moissanite, she straight up demanded we not get a diamond. My kinda woman.
Second, go with your future spouse. I was lucky and my fiancee had previously told me she wants to pick out any engagement ring. It's a great thing she said that because I don't really care that much and would have just picked the first pretty thing I saw. She insisted on shopping around and seeing all her options and ended up getting a way prettier ring than I ever would have picked out. More importantly, it's to her tastes. Just because you know her doesn't mean you know her tastes. Even more importantly, she also insisted on splitting the bill 50/50. If you can do that, more power to you, but I was just lucky in that regard. My fiancee sees it as a feminist thing, since expensive wedding rings originally a sort of down payment on the woman to ensure the groom didn't skip town before they were married. That history makes her feel like chattel unless she's helping to pay for it.
Third, shop around. After your choice of spouse, this is perhaps the single most important factor. We're not buying an XBox here. Prices vary as wildly from store to store in the jewelry industry as they do in the healthcare industry, but at least in this case you can shop around relatively easily. The rings themselves have far too many factors to make an apples to apples comparison between stores meaningful, but fortunately they all sell an item that is carefully sized and graded to ensure easy comparisons: jewels! Once you decide on what kind of rock you want, ask for a quote on the size and grade (if applicable) you want. Take that number and go around to several different stores. We ended up going to four different stores and were quoted between $440 and $1,500 for the exact same moissanite stone. The jeweler we ultimately ended up going with was the $440 store, a local guy who even showed us the website of the wholesaler he purchased the stones from to prove he wasn't excessively marking the price up. You need to find this sort of person in your area. Once you know they're not gouging you on the stone itself, you can rest a little more assured they're not gouging you on the rest of the rings. Our guy was Top Jewelers in Arlington, VA (Columbia Pike area) if you're in the area and want to check it out. I really can't recommend the guy enough. He also didn't use salesman pressure tactics either. You really felt like you were buying from a guy who makes rings than a guy who sells rings.
Fourth, consider an alternative to a diamond. If this is a dealbreaker then so be it, but this is the single easiest way to save a huge amount of money and still have a ring that looks pretty. Even synthetic diamonds are barely less expensive than natural ones. In my shopping, the pricing goes about like this for mid sized rock of average quality: Diamond: $4,000; Synthetic Diamond: $3,500; Sapphire: $3,000; Moissanite: $500-1000. These are the only stones we considered, so I can't say much more than that. My diamond prices might not be the most accurate since we knew from the start we didn't want a diamond and really only asked for quotes out of curiosity, so my memory on it is a little fuzzy. In any, you can see that moissanite really is the way to go if you want to save serious money. Sapphire will save you some, but it's still pretty spendy, and a sythetic diamond will barely save you anything. The price of diamonds is arbitrary and inflated by an artificial limit placed on supply, so why would producing them another way save much? There are other stones you can consider besides moissanite too. It's just the diamond-substitute du jour. Unlike cubic zirconia, it's actually a precious stone in its own right, just much cheaper than a diamond. I've looked at both moissanite and a real diamond next to each other and cannot tell the difference. And even if you could, who cares? The kind of people who will be impressed by you recklessly spending an exorbitant sum on an overvalued rock are not the sort of people worth impressing. I'd much rather people I know I'm not an idiot who does things that negatively affect my life just because that's what everyone else does.
Anywho, hope that helps.
March 31, 2017 at 04:06PM
