So about 8 months ago, after reading /r/personalfinance and following a few other personal finance blogs, I had a major shift in how I think about money and how I spend my money.
Before then I made much less than I do now, spent all of it every month, floated 20k in credit card debt and paid minimums, had zero savings, drove a Lexus I couldn't afford, etc.
8 months ago I got a big promotion/raise and I make a lot more now. I got rid of the Lexus and paid off all my debt. I still live in a nice apartment, but now outside of rent/utilities/food, I save every penny and buy ETFs.
I started graphing my finances in Google Sheets. I have data going back 8 months. It shows my net worth is higher than it's ever been, and growing faster than it ever has.
It's currently $20,696.67, which is way higher than it's ever been, and somehow I feel like I'm completely broke and I feel more financially insecure than I ever have. I think about it every day and have anxiety about it, and fear of losing it, of not saving enough, of not making it go up faster.
I see that in 4 months it'll be ~$36k depending on what the market does, and that seems like a lot of work to do for so little. No amount of money feels like it's substantial enough for me. If I get fired I'll be homeless in a year.
Aside from the nice apartment I've become really cheap. Everything seems super expensive to me, and I don't understand why all the people around me are willing to pay all these high prices for everything.
The more money I earn and save, the more expensive everything seems to me.
I have a pretty high income, but I feel like I can't afford a drink at Starbucks, or a $9 lunch. I eat frozen burritos and ramen. A lot of work days I'll skip breakfast/lunch and just eat dinner for free out of the break room at work after everyone goes home, so I won't have to pay for dinner. A sandwich and some chips and a piece of chocolate, for example.
I feel like a rat scrounging for crumbs, like I have nothing and need to save everything. But on paper, I make plenty of money, I'm saving a lot of it, I have more than most people do, etc.
I never felt this way in my old life. I felt fine and comfortable and well-off, being 20k in debt and losing 10% of my paycheck to interest payments, and having $0 in the bank and saving $0 for retirement. I felt totally fine and felt like I was doing very well, and honestly my quality of life was higher. I ate better, drove a nicer car, lived in a nicer area.
Sorry for rambling, but I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced this, and what if anything I can do to alleviate my anxiety around this, and maybe feel better about my situation?
Submitted January 19, 2017 at 11:13PM by PomWine http://ift.tt/2jERqIJ
