I (29M) am riddled with so much guilt in regards to the finances of my marriage. My wife (23F) came into our marriage without a drop of debt but when we got married, I helped her get her first car. However, I on the other hand, I had besides my car payment, about $7k in debt. Some of it was stupidity buys but then I got slammed with a huge bill for $4200. (I won't disclose this because it's personal.) I was staying caught up on everything and then it all backfired. Then COVID happened and what I'd paid off CC's, I was having to use to keep a roof over my head. I couldn't catch up and then I began sinking deeper and deeper. In 2021, an opportunity knocked for me to make nearly $20/hr more than what I was making at my old job but I had to move cross country. My wife and I decided to move thinking it was for the best.
I got fired for the shitiest reason ONE year later and during that one year, we were paying off the moving costs to get cross country so we never caught up because the savings were used to move. I lost my dream job and now I'm in an area where I can't get anywhere near what I was making easily halfway across the country without a lick of family or close friends really to rely on. We struggled. My wife was barely making enough to keep us afloat. We pushed out car payments and CC's. We got SNAP. And then my unemployment benefits didn't go through... And thus we struggled even more until I found work again, 1.5 months later.
I thought I was accepting a good job. I didn't see the writing on the walls. The company suddenly went under and started having issues. Guess who was one of the first out the door when things went haywire? Me. Why? Because "at-will" state and I was the lowest on the totem pole. Easiest to blame the new guy. The cycle began AGAIN nearly 7 months after starting that job.
And now, here I am finally on unemployment with less than four weeks, buried in even more debt and other finances trying to stay afloat. My wife is doing as best she can but she's only making $15/hr. I finally landed a job but the background screening is taking forever. I was hired March 29th, and they don't expect me to start until almost April 29th at $19.09/hr. Guess what I was making before we moved cross country? $19/hr. The only difference is that this job is a day-job and not rotating shift.
I'm all the way back at square one. We try to get ahead and then the money just disappears. We can't seem to catch up. One minute we're saving and then I'm either getting fired from a job or car maintenance failure or something crazy like that. I'm struggling as the man of the household. I feel like I'm just failing my wife because why does she want to stay with someone who can't keep a job? I know she loves me and that she's by my side but it doesn't remove the fact I feel like I can't provide for her needs. And she can't pay all the bills on her own salary. The job I got when I moved up here originally had her as a SAHW but now that's not even a thing. Our apartment has started to fall apart. I feel distant from my family and friends. My anxiety and depression are out the roof.
I don't know how to get back on track with our finances? The new job is supposed to average me working regular 50hr weeks, but currently, our budget sits around $3.8k for ALL basic needs. (Rent, Insurance, Debt, Cars, Groceries, etc. THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE: eating out and such.) My wife is bringing in $700/bi-weekly. I can almost guarantee we're not gonna be close to that threshold at all? SNAP is only giving us $20/mo because we're over the financial thresh hold for food assistance. I don't know what to do anymore?
I'm sorry for such a long post. Ranting. Venting. Crying.... I.... I'm sorry Reddit. I'm sorry I'm dragging you into this drama. I'm lost. I'm scared. I've asked for help but now I feel like a leach trying to get it. I'm sorry.
Submitted April 22, 2024 at 11:49PM by LrdFyrestone https://ift.tt/iDpwAm1
