My father passed away last year and his estate is ready to be disbursed, to me and my brother.
My husband and I are retirees living in Florida, in our mid 60s. We are thankfully wealthy and do not need the money from the estate, which amounts to $1.5m to each of me and my brother.
We have 2 children, ages 32 and 40 (both daughters). We have not provided them with any financial support after paying for their college many years ago. Our older daughter has never asked, but our younger one has asked for money twice (for a house downpayment and for a new car - we have declined both times).
My brother is giving his share of his inheritance directly to his 2 kids (~$750k each). My daughters are close with their cousins and aware of this, and my younger daughter is now upset with us for keeping the money for ourselves which we don't need or have any use for. She has asked us why we want her to live worse than we do, and why do we not want to share the wealth to make her life happier and easier (her words).
I would actually prefer to give the money to my kids, but my husband is adamantly against it. He feels it will demotivate them, that they'll quit their jobs, buy stupid things, waste the money, not appreciate it, and that wealth should be earned not given. I feel like my children are responsible adults (my oldest is 40!) and will simply use the money to improve their lives in positive ways (for example, our younger daughter could now buy a house). My husband is really insistent that they need to "struggle" and not have anything handed to them. However, they'll get this and all of our money eventually as our will leaves them our entire estate.
This money is going to me so it's my decision, but I don't want to do something that my husband thinks is so wrong.
My kids both lead middle-class lives. My younger daughter rents a house in a decent suburb. Her 2 young kids are in daycare so she and her husband can work full time. She has said many times to me that she wishes she could afford to work just part time so she could get more time with her kids. She's so excited when we visit and order takeout or take them out to dinner, as that's a "luxury" they rarely get.
My older daughter owns a small house in an upscale suburb. She also works full time and I think she's exhausted between her job and 3 kids. I've suggested to my husband that we could do something for her like pay for a once a week cleaner or chef so that she could spend her weekends relaxing or doing something enjoyable with her kids rather than cleaning and cooking, and my husband again thought that was a bad idea.
What would you do?
Submitted March 17, 2021 at 11:08PM by shar081 https://ift.tt/3tAeJDQ
