Hi,
So my mother (whom I currently live with) recently lost her job. Rather, she got herself fired. I knew she was going to be fired 6 months ago. Her best friend died and she's been on a downward spiral since. Ever since he died over a year ago, she'd call out of work at least once a month, sometimes once a week, sometimes even multiple days in a row so that she could spend the day drinking, sleeping, and popping sleeping pills. She's an alcoholic who's addicted to the sleeping pill Sonata. She has pretty severe depression, anxiety PTSD, probably bipolar, and who knows what else. While she had a job, she refused to go to regular therapy. She did go to rehab for a month, but started right back to drinking and popping sleeping pills shortly after, wouldn't go to NA or AA meetings or anything. She also gradually started doing less and less things that normal functioning humans do. She won't feed her birds because she's "afraid of the mice", she won't go grocery shopping, she won't go buy her cigarettes, she won't even go to the liquor store to get her booze. She makes me do it all with the threat of kicking me out, calling me a piece of shit ungrateful son, all of that. The day after she lost her job, I was out of town for work, and she apparently sent texts to former coworkers threatening to kill herself and was taken to the psych ward for several days. She's not serious about looking for work. "What is dropbox or google drive???!" She had an interview a few days ago that she blew off so that she could sleep, get drunk, and pop sleeping pills. Whenever I get home, if she's awake, she just sits on the couch with the TV off looking pitiful. She called me today saying she needs to go back to the psych ward, I said "okay I'll take you now." "No, I want chicken and dumplings and I need clean clothes..... I'll go tomorrow." Sure. "I took care of you for 24 years and no one wants to take care of me!" We (my family) are unable to care for an adult who WON'T do anything for themself.
My fiancee and I got approved for an apartment. I'm not letting my mom move in with us. She's probably going to lose her house and car. The more I think about it, the more I wish I could just put her in an assisted living type of place. That's the kind of care she needs. But I can't afford it, she can't afford it, no one can afford it. She certainly has no retirement, of course. And she's quite a few years from being able to draw from Social Security. She could probably get SSI cause she's certainly disabled by SOMETHING, but, of course, that would take a diagnoses that she'll never get.
What is there to seriously do? By the way, we're in Virginia. She's an adult, I'm about to start my life, the rest of my living family has a life, there's no good reason why we should have to take care of her. And lord is she a lot to take care of. She needs more than what the pooled effort of all of us combined can do. It'll sound cold, but sometime I wish the sleeping pills and alcohol would finally catch up with her. She's not happy with life, she probably never will be, she's a burden on me, hell, she's screwed me in many ways in life. I love her, but I'm also so incredibly tired by her. She's too much. Are there any kind of state-funded assisted living facilities that could be an option? I don't know what my options for her are :/
Oh, and of course, we have filial laws, so I can be screwed if she doesn't pay her medical bills and shit like that?!
Submitted October 25, 2019 at 08:31PM by tylerderped https://ift.tt/2MOlgZp
