Im not really sure where to start. I dont really post much on reddit, so I had to make a new account just to post this. Currently, I am living with my mother and aunt, and I have a sister, who goes to college a few hours away. My parents divorced when I was young, probably around 10 or 11, and my dad is no longer in the picture, he is raising his other family now. One day, I overheard my parents arguing over who got custody over who, with both of them wanting my sister, and neither of them wanting to take me. My sister and I ended up living with our mom, while dad moved out and found a new girlfriend. He rarely visited the first few months, and I haven't seen him in years now.
This put a strain on my mother and I's relationship. If I ever bring up how a feel to her, she just tells me that I'm wrong, or that I'm playing too many video games and they are effecting my mind, or that I'm mis-remembering. My mom and my aunt are always telling "jokes" around me. Mainly how I'm fat, play to many video games, and I'm lazy. In their defense, they were right. I was all of those things. Until a few months ago, one of my friends gave me a couple tabs of acid. I took them, just looking for a good time. But halfway through my trip, It changed from wavy cool colors to a period of deep self reflection. I realized it was time to man up. It was time to stop smoking and and playing games, but to focus on the more important things in life. To focus on improving myself. I also realized that I felt trapped in my own home. I didn't feel valued or respected by my family. Since then, Ive been going to the gym, and trying to help around the house more, and focus on my school. But my mom and aunt still treat me the same. and they still put my sister on a pedestal, giving her credit cards and telling her to spend as much as she likes, meanwhile she is criticizing me for spending money I worked for (which I was spending on groceries). Honestly, I'm so close to ending it all. All my friends know me as that happy funny guy. But I cant keep doing this. I don't know where to turn. I'm down to my last $15, I have just a few credits at the local community college. I have a part time job that pays $14 on weekends, but that starts in June. I'm currently living in Northern Virginia. Im just looking for some direction. If this is the wrong place to post this, Im sorry, im more of a reddit lurker than anything. But this is the only place I got.
Edit: Thanks for all the advice guys. you have me crying in my bed. cant thank you all enough.
Submitted May 15, 2019 at 07:41PM by kwantron http://bit.ly/2YBvuzn
