I was recently informed that my parents house is in pre-foreclosure and that they owe about 20k+ in back payments to the bank. Three years ago they were going through the same situation and I was forced to lend them money to help them. They wound up filing chapter 13 bankruptcy and were able to arrange it so they could keep there house.
I was asked from my mother if I could help them resolve this. When I exclaimed to her that I did not have the financial means at the present time she recommended that I sell my weekend sports car to help them. The car, a 2016 would net around 30k on private sale. It is paid off.
I refused to do that and it has cause a lot of fights between myself and my siblings. They feel that I’m being selfish and spiteful. But the thing is that if the circumstances were different I would help them.
First and foremost, if I were to sell the car, it would be because of my own financial problems. While I do make great money and get by things Have gotten a little tight recently because of a failed business venture. Selling the car would allow me to clear all of the debts and ease some of the financial burden. But I’m not there yet and able to manage. If my situation gets worse, I’d sell it in a heartbeat. It’s kinds of like a contingent emergency plan.
Second of all I’ve helped them a lot in the past five years and it’s come back to haunt me. Just a few years ago we went through the same thing. I do not want to put a bandaid on something that requires surgery.
They owe over 200k on a house that was purchased over 25 years ago and has over 30k of damage because they have still failed to fix the roof after it has leaked for the last 5-6 years. Homes in the area sell for about 250-350 depending on the condition.
Less than two years ago I helped my mom get a car. Instead of co-signing I opted to lend her 5k as a down payment. In hindsight, I wish I did neither but at the time I was compelled to co-sign and I’m glad I didn’t. That vehicle just got repoed a few months ago and at time of the repo she owed around 4K in past due payments. Meaning she hasn’t paid it in a long time. They were not able to get it back.
My mom stopped working last year so most of the financial responsibility is left to my dad. She refuses to get a job because she wants to “relax.” My dad makes about 70k a year which should be fine to manage them in my eyes having nothing more than a mortgage, living expenses, car payment, and monthly payment to the court.
Here’s the kicker. My mother has 2 horses and has for the last couple years. She claims that board, feed, and vet bills only cost her around 300 a month which I find extremely understated. Boarding costs in my area range from 400-900 a horse and feed costs about 200 a horse based on my research. Before vet bills and other related expenses, I estimate her to be paying about 1200-1500 a month.
To me the situation is simple. Sell the horses. I’ve talked to her about it but she refuses. She claims their her outlet and they “relax” her. Because of the breed, she could get 3-6k per horse. Why should I have to sell my stuff to help her when she won’t help herself?
My mother, and two of my siblings think that I’m being selfish and trying to make me feel bad about not helping them save our child hood home.
Am I the bad guy?
— Apologize for any typos as I’m on mobile.
Submitted May 10, 2019 at 08:32AM by OrganicBurn http://bit.ly/2Jgx4Tw
