In short, I grew up in a very emotionally and financially unstable household.
My Dad has been unemployed since 2008 and currently lives with his parents in MA, with no savings that I know of. However, he recently bought an expensive snowmobile for himself.
I live with my Mom at her parents' house. My Mom worked her ass off to become an RN in order to put food on the table once my Dad dipped, but has serious issues with spending beyond her means and not saving enough money for her future. She is 54 years old, has less than 10k in life savings, and is living paycheck to paycheck. However, she recently bought a $360 window shade for our bathroom, and wants to get a new storm door installed because it would make her "feel better." She is banking on her parents leaving her with a large inheritance so that she can get a condo and retire, but has health issues that I worry would leave her more financially strained then she believes.
I recently learned that my childhood home has been in foreclosure for some time - with no payments made in the last 10 years. I have no idea why my mom and dad would allow that amount of housing debt to accumulate without trying to sell it earlier, and have tried to speak with my parents about the timeline to possibly sell the house, but they refuse to speak about it. My Mom seems to have no idea how the foreclosure will affect her credit, because she's stated that she will be able to get a new place for a good interest rate. Every time I bring the house up with my parents, I am called a variety of names and told that I am "attacking" my Mom and Dad.
I worked my ass off throughout college, and now have $10,000 in student loans (after paying of $15,000 off the principal). I also have $16,000 in savings. However, I am finding that I am often influenced by my parent's financial view point, and worried about falling into the same emotional spending habits. I love my Mom to death and don't judge her or my Father, but also want to have healthy boundaries and make sure that I don't mirror the same mistakes I've witnessed my parents make.
In short, I wanted to ask those of you who have similar experiences re: financially unhealthy parents how you set boundaries and avoided developing poor financial habits.
December 16, 2018 at 03:07PM
